Queries Of A Simple Mexican Woman

Now, I am the first to admit that I am not the brightest bulb in the tulip patch, but several things have been on my mind for a while now and I want to see if you guys can help me understand them.

Arizona Immigration Law

Do I have this right? Anyone can be questioned at any time and asked to produce documentation showing that you are in this country legally. I'm confused. I looked on my Driver's License and on Alex's. There is nothing that states we are here legally. In fact, the only paper work I possess that indicates that I was born in the US is my birth certificate. (Oh, and my passport too would indicate the country of citizenship.) I have a library card but it does not indicate I am a legal resident. If I go to Arizona, should I carry my birth certificate and/or my passport with me? Should Alex?

What would make one be suspected of being an illegal alien? Would it have to do with the clothing you wear? Would the type of car you drive tip them off? Would a foreign accent give you away?

Since Arizona has a large Hispanic population, (as well as a large Native American population), it may be as simple as just questioning the brown people to see if they can provide proper documentation. It might be simpler yet if the State of Arizona issued "Yellow Star Armbands" for the legal resident brown people to wear at all times when they are outside of their homes.

This way the police would have an easier time identifying brown people without the armbands and questioning them, rather than taking up everyone's time questioning all the brown people.

Now, I have several good friends in the wonderful country of Canada. Should you visit Arizona, perhaps it would be wise to carry your identification papers with you at all times. The Arizona police may note that you are dressed more impeccably than the native Arizonians and want to question you. Somehow, I doubt very much that this will be a major issue for you though.

Every time Alex and I have driven to Arizona to visit his family, we can usually count to 100 after we cross the border before the Highway Patrol flashes their lights at us. Brown guy driving? Check. Blond hussy in car with him? Check. New BMW? Check. Okay, we are told that our tail light looks like it may be shorting out. Our turn signal was flickering. Funny, by the time we are waylaid for a couple of minutes so we can be checked out via computer in the cop car, all those little auto malfunctions completely quit. It may take a couple of minutes longer now to pull out our birth certificates.

I do understand that Arizona has had problems with drug cartels and violence in the last few years. We do not want people coming into our country illegally. We face a threat of terrorism. In fact, terrorism is a very real threat in America. Ask the people in Oklahoma City.

A Southern Symphony

To celebrate Alex and CT's birthdays, I wanted to find just the right place! I selected Pican Restaurant in Oakland for it's ambiance, it's fantastic cuisine, and it's location in an area called Uptown Oakland.

In this case, I made a magical choice! The stars were in alignment and the end results were way beyond anything I could have hoped for.

We pulled up to give our car over to the valet, (a smiling young Asian man) and walked toward the front door of Pican. There is a seating area outside where a very handsome African American man and a stunning woman were having a coffee and conversation. The man looked at us and smiled saying hello and commenting "Y'all look like you just came from a great photo shoot!" At that moment, I was so glad I told Alex and CT to dress to impress!

The interiors of Pican are beautiful. The polished woods shine, the paintings are tasteful. The restaurant exudes warmth and good taste! The place was fairly busy for a Thursday evening, but we were shown to our table immediately.

CT and I selected to sit side by side against the wall so we could both face Alex. I'm very blond, CT is coffee with splash of cream and we both have very short hair. Alex is what he calls "a brown guy". (It occurred to me that the waitress, and others, might assume that CT and I were a "couple". Never mind, should I need to choose a wife, CT would be right up there on the list of potentials!)

A tall, lovely young woman came to take a drink order from us and realizing that Pican boasted the largest selection of bourbons on the West Coast, we decided to go with cocktails. I had my usual, Maker's Mark Manhattan, and CT asked what the "pour" whiskey was. The lovely woman responded with a straight face but a twinkle in her eye that it was "Fighting Cock". CT replied that she would try an Old Fashioned with the pour whiskey. Alex declined a cocktail because he is not usually a fan of hard liquor. (On rare occasions, Alex will risk the "fire water" but not when he's driving!)

We got our drinks and CT and I sputtered and giggled a bit over CT's "Fighting Cock" whiskey. The appetizers were fabulous and we chose our entrees.

The young woman who was our waitress struck the most perfect note I've ever seen. I felt that she was exactly like a perfect hostess in beautiful surroundings making sure her guests were comfortable, well fed, and happy. When we commented on the perfection of the food, her beautiful smile was sincere and she said "It makes me so happy to hear that!". She was never rushed (although she was taking care of a number of tables). This woman made it all look so effortless. She smiled and it was real. She also made sure we had everything we needed at every minute!

I have never before been a true fan of Southern Cooking. Pican changed my mind completely on this matter. The food is delicious and tastes like love! I'm a convert. If you go to the link, you can check out their menu. Believe me, everything that came to our table was perfection!

After dinner, the handsome man who had greeted us outside approached our table and asked if we had enjoyed our meal. It turns out his name is Michael LeBlanc and he is the owner of Pican. Looking around the dining room and bar area, it was obvious that the diversity of Oakland and the richness of its culture were on full display.

Should you plan a visit to San Francisco, please venture over to Oakland and try a taste of Pican. You won't regret it!

How To Spend $1000 You Don't Have In Less Than 24 Hours

This smiling guy is Alex, my husband. He is smiling and happy because it is his birthday! I think he has been smiling about this since yesterday.

Last night, I took Alex, his twin sister and my best friend, CT to dinner at a wonderful restaurant in Oakland called "Pican". I am going to do a separate post on last night's dinner because it was really one of the most special evenings we have had in a long time!

Yesterday afternoon, I had to do a number of things to get ready for last evening. My husband's twin, CT, is actually not his twin but was born on the same day he was (April 23rd) so we do call them twins. CT is African American; Alex is Navajo, and they are separated in age by about 10 years. Still, they call each other "bro" and "sis", and I usually introduce CT as my husband's twin sister.

I looked for a pair of perfect white gold hoops for CT yesterday afternoon. She favors classic stuff and is not inclined (as I am) toward sparkle and glitz. I have drag queen tastes in a lot of things, whereas CT is subdued, classic and classy. She is gay, gorgeous and one of the coolest women I've ever known. CT and Alex have a blast together, whether it's watching stupid scary movies after I go to bed, or smoking a fine cigar on the porch while they sip a fine brandy. They are so much alike it's scary! CT is a treasure to us both!

Of course, it's much easier to shop when money is no object. I know money is an object and that I really don't have any right now. I told my favorite jeweler that I needed something special and very cheap! I asked what he had for $50 or so, and the answer was not much and what there was would not be something I would gift my best friend with! He fixed me right up with a pair of white gold hoop earrings that were exactly right. For $150, I just couldn't go wrong, could I?

Since money is scarce, I told Alex I would take him to lunch today in San Francisco. I wanted to let Alex choose his own gift, try it on, and not spend money on something he might not really love. (See, I'm being frugal.)

Back to last night. We had wonderful Kentucky bourbon cocktails, three appetizers, and then our entree's. Oh, and there was that nice bottle of wine. The bill? Oh, about $250, and actually kind of a bargain considering the quality of the evening.

Today, we did the trip into San Francisco. I paid the bridge toll which was $4.00 but I'm not counting that or the parking cost.

Before lunch, I wanted to get him a couple of nice cotton shirts and we found a lovely little store that carried some really beautiful Italian clothing. He tried on two shirts that just looked amazing on him and I also let him add a pair of really great looking shoes. This was totaled up and came to about $500. (Well, clutch my pearls, that was kind of a shocker! I really need to take reading glasses with me when I go out. I thought the shirts were $65 not $165.)

We then went to lunch and spent $100 on a wonderful lunch that still has me full. (Yes, there was also a brilliant little Pinot Noir involved.)

I am so proud of myself for actually keeping to a budget this birthday. Uh huh.

Hump Day With Harry

The Thing About Vampires

See the guys in this picher? That's Dutch and Sansom. Dutch is the big red guy with the funny place down his back because he hunts lions. Sansom is the short fat funny looking guy.

These guys live next to me. Dutch is looking at me like he wants me to come and play. I won't do that right now because I'm worried about vampires.

Dad let me watch this movie with him the other day about vampires. Mom won't watch vampire movies but Dad loves them.

Honey just sleeps through the whole thing anyway. So we watched this movie and I got really scared. The only way to be a vampire is to bite one on the neck or let them bite you on the neck. And you have to invite them into your house. Dutch is looking at me like he wants to come to my house I think.

After you get to be a vampire then everybody runs around and tries to kill you all the time. I think they have to put a steak through your heart or cut off your head or something like that. I got a steak for Christmas last year, but I don't want one put through my heart.

I'm being really careful right now. The other day, I walked in the kitchen and there was this big orange dog in the oven at my house. I barked and barked and growled and ran into the oven front but he just did exactly what I did. He finally went away. That guy could not think I was inviting him into my house.

Last night it was rainy and windy. Mom and Dad went upstairs to go to watch tv and then go to bed. All at once I heard a big crash! VAMPIRES! I ran in the office and got under the desk with Honey. I was shaking all over. Dad came downstairs and opened the door to the back yard. I've never been so scared.

He came and told me that a plant had been knocked over in the wind. Oh I hope he didn't invite one of those vampires into my house. I'm not afraid of anything else but those vampires look like real trouble to me! And Dutch always likes to play biting necks. So for now, he'd better keep his distance. He's scaring me how he's looking at me with those eyes!

Drama Makes The World Go Round!

There's a lot to be said for drama in our everyday lives. Sometimes, we have to create it ourselves!

Take this morning! I'm sitting on the telephone in the office, (scratch that!) I mean I'm talking on the telephone in my office and I gaze out the window to the street. A lady is walking to a car across the street. She is wearing a hat with cat ears on it. I have no idea who she is. She got in her car and drove away. I had to get off the phone because seeing this gal had truly distracted me. From what I could tell, she looked perfectly normal. Perhaps a middle aged woman in perfectly regular looking clothes.

Who on earth could she be? What perfectly normal woman would stick a cat hat on their heads in the morning to go get in a car and drive away?

I got the mail today. In the mail was an envelope from the Department of Motor Vehicles addressed to my husband. I felt the envelope and it had something in it that was hard. Putting two and two together, I figured it was Alex's driver's license that he has been waiting for. I telephoned Alex at work to say "Your driver's license came in the mail". I did this because he's has mentioned he didn't know why it hadn't come yet. (His birthday is on Thursday, so he needed the license obviously.)

I didn't speak to Alex when I called because he was away from his office probably doing something very important, so I left a voice message. He called three minutes later and said "Did you open the envelope?" I responded that I had not. (I don't like to open other people's mail. If it had looked personal / and or from a girlfriend or something, I would have carefully steamed it open to see what was inside.) I didn't need to open this envelope to see what was inside. I could feel something hard in the shape of a driver's license inside.

He asked me to go and open the envelope. Being a compliant and helpful wife, I did his bidding. Then I told him it was a laminated card with his picture on it that was very similar to a driver's license. In this case, however, someone had put a big X over his face and the words "Don't give this guy a license" were written on top.

Ha ha, says Alex. Very funny. Then Alex says, "Do they say anything?" Uh, like did they write you a letter Alex? Did they thank you for renewing your license or something? Wait! Yes, here it is! They are asking for your body parts if you croak! That's about it, Alex.

My office is great. I have lace curtains so I can see out on the street but nobody can see in. I used to watch the drug dealers across the street for hours! I even got to see raids. Now this is some home entertainment I'm talking about! Street blocked off, 50 cops, dog cops, snipers, Swat teams! All this for one little skinny white guy about 20 who lived with his little skinny white girlfriend across the street and sold drugs I guess. I was kind of sorry when they moved. They were actually pretty upscale drug dealers I think. They looked okay as far as I could see. I would have hated to have drug dealers who were low life's living across from me but these guys were fine.

I get my appreciation for drama from my Mama. She was a very dramatic woman. She would leave my Dad periodically and storm out of the house with all 4 of her daughters. We would walk for a mile or so, and then she would make me faint on the street. Then she would go call Dad to come and pick us up because I had fainted dead away on the street. I got to be pretty good at it too!

My Dad would show up and take one look at me with my fluttering eyelids lying on the sidewalk! He would pick me up and put me in the car. I could recover then. Dad never really noticed that I fainted an awful lot for a healthy looking child.

What The Bloody Hell!

Things were going along so nicely. I spent yesterday in the garden, working with Alex, playing with the dogs, listening to the Giants play the Dodgers! It was a great day!

The Giant's lost. No wild celebrations at our house. We had a quiet staid evening and went to bed about 10 PM.

I awakened at 3 AM and thought my nose was running. I reached for my tissue box. What the hell? I had a bloody nose! What's more it was an important bloody nose! The kind that makes you think "What the bloody hell!" I am fine with blood. I can clean up a dog's cut. I can clean up a person's cut. I can watch bloody slasher movies.

What I cannot do is deal with blood coming out of my nostril at an alarming velocity at 3 AM. There was blood on the sheets. Blood on the pillowcase. Blood on my nightgown. I attempted to pinch my nose closed to give it a chance to form a clot and then put my head up. I could feel blood running down my throat.

Okay, now I'm sorry to be so gross, but now I'm in full anxiety attack mode. My heart is racing. I think I may be strangling on my own blood! My pulse is jumping off my wrist. My husband is sound asleep beside me, snoring softly.

Because I was pretty sure I was dying, I turned on the light which was probably not my best idea ever. It allowed me to view the gore much more clearly and increase my blood pressure, heart rate and pulse that much more. By this time, the blood had pretty much subsided but I was still fairly convinced I was dying.

Alex finally rolled over and saw me sitting straight up in bed, blood all over the place, and clasping a tissue to my nose! "You okay, Honey?" he asked. (Alex is quick, I'll give him that!) I had trouble telling him what was wrong because of not wanting to let go of my nose.

By this time I 'm shaking from cold and probably going into shock from blood loss. I sat up like this for the rest of the night sort of waiting for the Grim Reaper to creep in the room. At some point, I must have dozed off.

Alex got up as usual and went to work. I thought "Oh, he knows I could be dying and he just goes off like everything is normal." Then I went back to sleep.

I'm fine now.

Feels Like Home

I was given this gorgeous cheese colored award from Nicky and Mike at the wonderful We Work For Cheese site. I'm not sure when I have felt more honored. Awards are funny. They always make me smile!

Now, frankly, I don't know Mike as well as I know Nicky. I do read almost all of what he writes and he is a great writer, handsome, studly, and virile I'm sure. But I really have formed a strong (unnatural?) attachment to Nicky. Frankly, I would marry the girl tomorrow even though neither of us are gay. (Of course, I speak in generalities here because same sex marriage as we all know is still not the law of the land. Plus there is the detail that I am already married. Still, never mind.)

I'm going to talk a little bit about why I love Nicky. She's fun! She's sassy! She's smart! She's a hottie! And she's got the cheese world simply rocking! Nicky is a very talented writer. She is also fantastically beautiful. How do I know this?

If you take a look at her leopard stiletto's I think you have the answer to that question. Who besides a fabulous gorgeous woman would dare wear a pair of shoes like that? (Yeah, I have the same pair, but I figure we could do a mother-daughter act in them.)

Anyway, enough about my darling Nicky. Now, with this wonderful award, I think I can pass it on to three people. I really am pleased to pass this on to two of my favorite bloggers, Terry at Oh For Pete's Sake, Kat at 2010-The Year of Miracles, and Dual Mom at We're at Dad's That Week. All three of these women rock my world!