Turning Tricks Is Not the Same As Doing Tricks

My husband, Alex, phoned at the polite time of 9:00 AM this morning.

As I have explained in the past, people really should not rise before 9. Most people die early in the morning, and wouldn't we all rather be in bed for that?

In any case, the subject of taxes came up in our phone conversation. That is not a soothing topic at anytime, but I believe it's worse before noon. We discussed money briefly and that's when Alex proclaimed, "We could always send Zoe out to turn tricks" to earn more money.

Alex's statement stunned me. Zoe is a young spayed female. She's innocent. What on earth was he referring to? When I expressed my dismay about what he was suggesting, he followed up with "We can teach her to roll over, play dead, you know, tricks!"

There really is one hell of a difference between a dog doing tricks and turning tricks.

(Alex has a way of mixing up his words that can sometimes lead to some confusion. When my mother choked on a sip of coffee, he assured her that he was expert at the "hymen remover" so not to worry.)

I was somewhat relieved that my husband was not suggesting a life of prostitution for our new dog.

Zoe really isn't that kind of girl.