Knocked Up and Prickly

This is something of a miracle.

For the last 10 years, my ugly cactus has gotten pregnant once a year and had one gorgeous but short-lived bloom.

The cactus usually gets one large pink flower that lasts for 24 hours per year. The rest of the time, it's a hateful looking plant with all its sharp thorns and weeds that somehow manage to grow in there with the thorns. I've thought about throwing it in the green recycle bin more than once.

I don't even know where the cactus came from since I am not a fan. It was probably here when we moved in ten years ago. I think there is something alien-like about cactus plants. I try to carefully pluck the weeds out of it once in a while, and I have bled profusely every time I attempt the pruning. I swear these pricks are purely evil.

This year, a miracle birth occurred. The plant developed nine long phallic looking protrusions with red tips. About two days later, we had a multiple birth. This was the first time I've ever seen more than one flower appear on it.

I'm wondering if this has to do with global warming. It could also be the result of California's extreme rainfall this year. Of course, it could also be related to hyperactive sexuality in the planter. (I'm just glad that my own occasional hyperactive sexuality never resulted in anything remotely similar.)

Whatever it was, the showy display is over now for another year. I guess I can't toss the plant now, can I?

"You Could Go Work With Blind Kids Or Something"

My husband, Alex, left on a trip today.

Before he left, he asked me "What are you going to do while I'm gone, Honey?" I looked at him and said "I'm going to put on my robe." He sort of laughed and said, "Other people think you're kidding when you say that, but I know better." Uh huh. He does. I just looked at him.

Then Alex says "You could go work with blind kids or something." I nearly fell on the floor laughing. Where does he get this stuff?

Don't get me wrong. Working with blind kids would be a noble thing to do, I guess. But why blind kids? I have never expressed a desire to go work with blind kids.

Finally, Alex clued me in. That was a line that Al Pacino used to his wife in the movie "Scarface". Pacino's wife sat around all day doing coke and he said she should go work with blind kids or something.

Very funny, Alex!