Dear God, why do I only want to eat chocolate? In fact, Swiss chocolate is the only thing I have been able to think about since I woke up this morning. My husband, Alex, brought me back a box of Lindt of Switzerland dark chocolates when he came home from Europe on Saturday night. I put off opening them as long as I could because I knew what would happen once I did. I knew I would put piece after piece in my piggy little mouth and chomp them down. The other reason I did not open them is that my daughter, her husband and my two grandchildren were here this weekend. I did not want to offer them any of my chocolate. In other words, I am a selfish, greedy and gluttonous bitch.
These chocolates are not just good; they are sinful. If I were a religious woman I would have to go confess my sin after gobbling down a one pound box of them. I am not a religious woman, thank God. If I was skinny, it wouldn't be so bad. I am not skinny, or even borderline skinny. I'm walking the tightrope between curvy and fat because I never understood the concept of moderation. If a little bit of something is good, why isn't more better?
Nothing on earth is as wonderful as chocolate - not sex, not money, not kittens, not babies, not rainbows or butterflies. All of those things are sweet and cute and fine and all, but they don't even come close to the rapture that is chocolate!
I have to say that I too love chocolate, not as much as sex but...chocolate is definitely ranked high on my priority list. You are not a selfish, greedy, gluttonous bitch for not wanting to share your chocolate, that is perfectly normal. In fact, had you offered it, that would have qualified you as insane!!! Tell Alex to bring me some chocolate next time too!!! :D
ReplyDeleteI'll do that Baby! We'll fed ex it to you. Hide it from Bobby!
ReplyDeleteHA! Finally, someone who understands the rapture of chocolate and the pleasure of being a pig about it! Give Alex the extra points for bringing you something scrumptious back.
ReplyDeleteLinda, There is nothing wrong with hogging all the chocolate. My theory: It was given to you so therefor it is yours and you don't have to share. So there!!!!! I'm really 4yrs. old.
ReplyDeleteHere is a personal theory I believe that because I am a vegetarian I can eat all the
f-ing chocolate that I want or oreos, twizzlers, jelly donuts, chocolate cake ect, ect." My doctor wants to know who's ass I pulled that theory out of "This is coming out of a doctors mouth who has McDonalds bags in his trash can. To me fast food is a laxative.Loved the article. Dorothy
It was for you Duffy!
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