Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Husbands, Lovers, and Poor Sailors










I was 40.

I had some ex-husbands from those previous years and I wasn't really in the market for another one. My girlfriends who were about the same age and single were looking hard for "the one". I was more inclined to meet my considerable "right now" needs and not looking for the long term at all.

My friends had a whole list of requirements that "the one" would have to possess. He would have to be tall, have at least a 6 figure income, have no children under 18, be educated and handsome and of course, kind and generous. Hmm. In our teens and twenties, we had no such requirements.

I met a young sailor the night before he was leaving on a 6 month Navy cruise. He and I talked the evening away. Alex was 25 and had another two years in the Navy. He was Navajo, short, and completely delightful.

We wrote for the next six months and became close friends. He and I spoke by telephone when he got back to shore. After a couple of years, Alex and his friend Todd came up to San Francisco for a visit. We had a fantastic time showing them the City.

Several weeks later, Alex came back by himself. We married a year later. My friends were horrified! What was I thinking marrying a poor sailor so much younger than me! Was I insane? Uh, no, I was in love.

My poor sailor worked as an aircraft mechanic and went to college at night and got a degree in computer science. My poor sailor today has an income that is about 5 times what I ever earned. We have a great life! He's my best friend and my lover and the person I trust most in the world.

My girlfriends are still waiting for their 6'2", wealthy, intelligent, kind and generous "the one". I'll settle for my short poor sailor!

24 comments:

  1. ps thanks for the kinds words!

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  2. Thanks Trey! It is pretty cool if I say so myself. Also, that boy of yours is a HUNK. Wow!

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  3. AWWWWW!!! That is SO sweet. I love it. What's that saying? Sometimes you find what you're looking for right when you stop looking. Sounds like you found a winner and your friends are too busy still looking...

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  4. It's funny Peg. When we start getting older, we get all these goofy ideas about perfection (and not settling for less than). When we are in our 20's, it's probably much easier to find the wealthy, successful guy with the silver in the temples. He's 45 and looking for a 25 year old. Hah!

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  5. I love happy endings.....this just made my heart swell, Linda. I'm very happy for you. The best part of it all is that he's also your best friend. That's so important and most women skip over that detail. Blessings to you both. Also.....where are you in that picture....the surroundings are absolutely gorgeous....(you and Alex included).

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  6. We are at our country home in Santa Fe. Okay, I'm kidding. It's my friend Lucia's garden in Lafayette and such a magical place! The best friend detail makes it all work, Val.

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  7. There's that "third time's a charm" thing again...Now if I could just figure a way to skip numbers 1 & 2.

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  8. Baby Jayne, get in the Game to play! You are too great and gorgeous a gal to be hanging it up!

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  9. That worked out great for ya!

    I'm still looking for an older heiress who is accident prone and has a nagging cough. ;-)

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  10. I once heard that love isn't finding a perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person, perfectly. Sounds like you have done that. I'm happy to say that so have I. We are truly some of the luckiest people on earth. :)

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  11. You Sir, Jay, are a knucklehead! (But the I love Knuckehaaes!)

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  12. Also, that was knukehead , but after two glasses of wine, who knows who it end up!

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  13. No no it's knucklehead! What is my problem, Marine!

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  14. Never mind. Blame it on the Carbernet!

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  15. Sounds like age brought wisdom and wisdom brought love. You Go Girl!

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  16. Now, that's what I need... a wonderful guy who turns up while I'm not looking. Lucky you, Linda!

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  17. Cat Lady and Sylvia, I am lucky to have Alex (even if I sometimes hate his ways).

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  18. I'm so honored that you commented on my blog... and led me here. So sweet! I'm a new fan. This warmed me up!

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  19. The best is ahead of you, SMS. You'll find exactly what you need! Thank you for stopping by!

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  20. I love that happy ever after ending!!

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  21. You and Alex are so cute together and seem so right. Cupid is mischievious and love is a delightful surprise.One could wait a long time if you wed yourself to an ideal. Julie de Lespinasse, in the 18th century wrote" I desire to love as one must love:excessively, the the point of madness and despair." It is this amazing experience that we surrender to and risk sanity..and sometimes everything..to experience. Most of our stories at DC are filled with such tales. And don't we love it! The human experience is intoxicating!

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  22. Blackbird, you Madam have a way with words that I envy so much! Damn, lady, you're good!

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