Saturday, August 21, 2010

Massage Envy


This is what my husband Alex is doing this lovely Saturday afternoon.

This is not a picture of Alex, but of some white guy getting a massage. Alex is a brown guy, but he's getting a massage too, right now in fact.

At the little mall in our town, a place called "Massage Envy" has opened recently. Alex wanted to check it out a few weeks ago so I went with him. There is a long reception counter with a lot of gorgeous women behind it, in low-cut nurses uniform-type clothes. or maybe it was tight jeans and bustiers, something like that anyway. Okay, maybe it just looked like that to me.

One of the pretty young ladies offered to help us, so I backed up, stood aside, and let Alex explain what he wanted. They made an appointment for Alex later that same day with "Babette", the therapist who would do a deep tissue massage for him. (No, they did not have photos to help in choosing the massage therapist.)

When he got home after his first massage, Alex was very happy and relaxed. He said that Babette had given him a great massage. (Better her than me because Alex's body is so hard it feels like you are trying to massage a tire.) He also told me he had made a standing appointment with Babette every Saturday afternoon at 3 PM.

I'm glad he's pampering himself a little. Alex works hard and he has a lot of stress. Getting it worked out is a good thing.

So now I'm at home alone on a Saturday afternoon waiting for my happy and relaxed husband to come back after his $50 hour-long deep tissue massage. I figure he will leave a 20% tip because that is customary, right?

Ooops! I accidentally took his credit cards, and his ATM card out of his wallet before he left. I also took a couple of $20 bills. Silly me. I did leave him with exactly $60 in his wallet. I hope he doesn't want to buy a candy bar after his massage because if he does, he will be out of luck.

Implicit trust is a wonderful thing in a marriage, don't you think?

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  106. Wow. I just stumbled upon this blog entry and I am extremely insulted. I am a Certified Massage Therapist and I and many others I know would not dream if being inappropriate. In fact, most of us are worried about the clients being inappropriate towards us. Do not think that just because your MT is pretty that she is a prostitute. Go to a place that requires credentials per your State, which ME does. Also, as far as i know ME does not have "bustiers" as uniforms. Please inform yourself and don't be so prejudiced.

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  107. Now, Amanda, you seem to have stumbled upon a piece that was written as a "humor piece". My daughter in law is a CMT and so is my cousin. Both women are college graduates and complete professionals. "Massage Envy" is a thoroughly professional company and does not double as a house of ill-repute. Of course they don't have "bustiers" as a uniform. I think most people who read my blog realize I am joking and taking liberties with the truth. I am sorry if you were offended and insulted as that surely was never my intent.

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  108. I apologize. It is just very frustrating when you work hard to be a professional. I did not realize this was humor! Sadly, some people do think that way. It is a topic that gets me a little riled up lol

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  109. No apologies needed, Amanda. I do think that CMTs get a bad rap which is ridiculous. My husband has a serious rheumatoid condition and the wonderful massage people that work on him really help to lessen his considerable pain. I was just playing with the subject, and I deserved to be called on it!

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