It really has been very easy.First, hear devastating news that your dog is very sick, and it looks like the sickness is going to be terminal. That will start to kill your appetite for sure.
Spend a couple of days waiting to see if your dog is getting worse. When you acknowledge that indeed, she is getting worse, you aren't going to want to eat at all.
Make the decision to put her down. There's an other 2 or 3 pounds right there. Take your dog in for the fatal visit at the vet's. Go home and drink wine. When you finish the wine, grab the whiskey. Drink like there's no tomorrow, because really you feel like there won't be.
Wake up the next morning sad, miserable, and hung over. You realize the last time you ate was at noon on Friday and it's now Sunday. Opt for some duck soup. Finish part of it. Sunday night force yourself to eat a slice of pizza.
Monday, have coffee and diet coke. Eat a slice of toast whether you want it or not about noon. Call your doctor for pain pills because you have thrown your back out trying to lift your big dog off the floor when she kept falling.
The pain pills tend to make you nauseous, so continue to eat a piece of toast once in a while. And have lots and lots of Diet Coke.
Almost a week into this miracle diet, step on the scale. You were tired of seeing 137 pounds, weren't you? Well, what do you know! You see 130 pounds register.
Go outside to get the garbage cans and bring them in. Have your next door neighbor say "Linda! You've lost weight! You are so lucky!"
Think seriously about shooting her in the head.
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