I'm taking the high road.
I realize I could have gone down the low road, but it's my story and I'm doing it my way.
I come from a long line of big haired women. My mom was from Oklahoma and her hair was always big and blonde and styled with a half a can of AquaNet hairspray. Mom had a lot of hair, and she teased it dramatically. That was some big damn hair!
Her sister, Berta, is now 90 years old. She came to see me last year and I was amazed that she to this day has big blonde hair. My cousin Kelly has big blonde hair too. Both of my other cousins in Oklahoma are men and somewhat hair challenged but they made up for it by marrying women with big blond hair.
I have 3 sisters and each and every one of them has big hair, 2 of them are blonde and one brunette. My nieces and my granddaughters as well as my daughter and my daughter-in-law have big hair. Any damn one of the aforementioned females would have hair perfect to be in the front line of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders squad, even my 90 year old aunt Berta.
I had semi-big hair myself until about the age of 40. When I was 40, I had a boyfriend, but I cheated on him. Getting out of bed at the No-Tell Motel with that big mess of hair to try and deal with was just too much pressure. I decided to have it all chopped off.
My family was horrified. My daughter started telling people she had a "bald-headed mama" and my mother just shook her head every time she saw me. My boyfriend (the one I cheated on) hated it. The guy I was cheating with liked it. (Don't judge. I had my reasons.) But I found the chopped off hair very liberating.
My cousins and my aunt told me insincerely "Oh I wish I could do that with my hair!" They were both lying through their pretty teeth. They hated it.
I was no longer a slave to electric rollers, curling irons, and blow dryers. This was truly a wash-and-wear (or "fire and forget" as Alex says) situation and I love it.
I don't go to the No-Tell Motel anymore, but if I did, nobody would be the wiser!
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