Sunday, December 30, 2012

"Put It In Your Mouth! Do It!"

Excuse me?

Alex walked in the office when I was looking at the whole internet and said "Put it in your mouth!  Do it!" to me.  He was holding something in his hand.

I looked at him and wondered if he had lost his damn mind.  He reached his hand toward me showing me a nasty little piece of chocolate that he had saved off of a chocolate Santa Claus we gotten from a friend at Christmas.  Alex had eaten everything but the head of the Santa.

I said "Put it in my mouth?" and he started grinning.  He is one sick bastard, that one is.

Alex needs to keep in mind that we are married and have been for many years.  The demands to 'put it in my mouth' are pretty funny at this stage of the game.

Plus, I don't want some nasty piece of chocolate he's been holding and letting melt in his grubby hands.  And where does he get off saying "Put it in your mouth!  Do it!" to me?

Well, unless he's holding  a big bunch of hundred dollar bills in the other hand.

Then I might think about it.  Naw.  Just kidding.

43 comments:

  1. Hey Linda! What a worrying post! Husbands are crazy... Indigo

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  2. Oh sure. I read this title on my blog roll and rushed on over and now... sigh.

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  3. He was feeling a bit "festive" eh? lol!! Happy New Year lovely lady :)

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  4.  Old Alex gets frisky once in a while.  But in this case, until I repeated what he had said to him with an amazed look on my face, I doubt he even thought about it!  When he got it, he grinned!

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  5.  Where is your mind, Dufus.  Wait, you are down south.  That explains it.

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  6. Well that's one hell of a blog title!

    Happy New New to you both!

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  7. Ha ha - love that picture of him! Sounds as if you two have a lot of fun.

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  8.  I know, right?

    Happy New Year Mike!  Make it a good one!

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  9. He's funny as can be.  I adore him when I'm not chasing him with an ax.

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  10. The chocolate sounded nasty. I think, otherwise, he likely wouldn't have to ask. :  ) Great picture of Alex. He looks like he's still got his twenty-something mojo. Have an awesome 2013. Happy and Healthy New Year to you and your family.

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  11. Hee hee!  I can just picture the look of horror on your face... and love the look of delight on Alex's!  Happy New Year, my dear Linda!

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  12. Just looking at that picture brought on a case of the giggles. He's adorable and so are you. Much happiness and good health in the coming year.

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  13. "The demands to 'put it in my mouth' are pretty funny at this stage of the game." AHhahAHhahAHhAHhHAhAHhaha! 

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  14.  Well, it has happened but not that often.  And usually it's with a pleading tone not a demand!

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  15.  Thanks so much Cheryl!  He really does crack me up!

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  16.  Happy New Year, Boom Boom!  It really was pretty funny!

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  17.  The chocolate was nasty!  My husband is a pretty funny guy, even when he's not trying.  Happy New Year to you and yours, Lauren!

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  18. LOL Now I have an old school song stuck in my head!

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  19. TheEquestrianVagabondJanuary 1, 2013 at 12:47 PM

    After I read the title, I was almost afraid to read further! Happy New Year!

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  20.  Now you know I would never go "there"!

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  21. I stopped with "Alex walked in the office". My Mama warned me about women like you. Happy 2013!!

    AC

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  22.  No, Ann Baby, Mama said "Emulate women like her!"  It's different!

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  23. Sounds naughty as all get out. :-)

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  24. Hah! If M came bearing chocolate and told me to put it in my mouth, I'd totally put anything he wanted in my mouth. 

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  25. That's just gross.  I, too, was wondering where this was going. ;)

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  26.  Well, Linda, most people know I don't really go that far off the beaten track.  I really couldn't use any other words except what he said to make this work.  It was funny because until I looked at him and repeated Alex's words to him, he didn't realize he was saying anything "off color".

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  27.  Bearing chocolate is different from bearing a melting nasty Santa head that you had left over.  Yuck!

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  28. Chocolate...no need to tell me twice!

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  29. Happy New Year Linda!  You've made my top ten list for 2012.  

    http://thriftshopcommando.blogspot.com/2012/12/top-ten-favorite-blogs-for-2012-and.html

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  30.  Tami, Happy New Year and thank you so much. 

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  31. Well, I suppose there are worse things than a melty, grubby Santa's head that he could have insisted you put in your mouth. I can't think of any right now, but I'm sure they exist. Somewhere. Maybe. :-)

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  32.  We both know he's cute, but he can be a tad creepy too!

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  33. I'd probably do it for, mmm, a hundred hundred dollar bills. I'm cheap.

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  34. "Alex needs to keep in mind that we are married and have been for many years.  The demands to 'put it in my mouth' are pretty funny at this stage of the game."

    That might be one of the funniest things I've read on a blog in a long time. And I needed a good laugh. ;)

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  35.  I really don't mean to be raunchy, P.J., but I mean "seriously!"

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  36. There's a pun in there somewhere about giving Santa head, but I haven't quite figured out the wording yet.

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  37. Katherine KellesisJanuary 10, 2013 at 3:10 PM

     Hahahaha! That was a hilarious post!

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  38.  He's a pretty funny guy, Katherine. 

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