The only answer I have is a goofy one. I've had a sense of foreboding. Isn't "foreboding" and fabulous and underused word. It would be simpler to say I've been in a state of anxiety that I may have brought on myself.
I've been worried about North Korea. I've been worried about this new Asiatic flu that kills everything and everyone it touches and has no cure. I've been worried about my son going to the Boston Marathon and running. I've been worried about going to the dentist. I've been worried about Alex turning 50. I've been worried about his birthday party and if I could make it wonderful. I've been worried about climate change. I've been worried about gun violence. I've been in a state of "foreboding".
I've made the horrible decision to watch the news in a compulsive and detrimental to my mental health way. Train wreck after train wreck and I could not look away. I got hooked on this stuff and it left me speechless, (or at least wordless).
It's over now.
My son ran in the Boston Marathon. He reached the finish line about 40 minutes before the bombs went off. I'm glad he's fast. I'm glad he and his wife Kate were in transit back to their hotel when the explosions went off. Finally, I'm glad the investigation of this event has been fruitful and that there is one perpetrator dead and one who will face charges.
The new flu is really nothing for me to worry about. The press leaves me in a state of anxiety. If it's not killer bees, it's killer sink holes. If it's not raging terrorists, it's raging lunatics. If it's not deadly tsunami's, it's deadly earthquakes or avalanches.
My husband's birthday party went beautifully. We entertained family and friends and it was a beautiful day! We had a gorgeous array of Persian food catered and plenty of flowers, beer and wine! Alex got some lovely cards and gifts from our family and friends. He was delighted! Everyone seemed to have a wonderful time.
I will try to remember that the life we have is the only one that we can control. And I will try to post about the life I have and stop being such a news junkie!
Awwwww.....Linda!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I am SO relieved your son was SAFE in Boston. You must have been absolutely terrified. I cannot even imagine.
Secondly, Happy 50th Birthday to Alex!
And lastly, I have been feeling the same EXACT way. Riddled with anxiety, constantly. And you're right, watching too much news only makes things worse.
I also haven't been able to write in MONTHS - but I am determined to get together a blog post sooner than later.
PS: Thank you for reminding me to be grateful for simple things in life.
I, too, have been in a state of "foreboding". There is so much in the media that seems worry-some but I, also, like you seem unable to ignore a lot of it. Even if I choose to not watch the news, I hear the conversations around me.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that your son wasn't harmed in Boston and that Alex's party went well. As for the flu and North Korea, I have been purposely not listening ...so I am in a delusional, denial state and choosing to ignore both.
I can't even use foreboding as an excuse. I just got nothing. But I'm glad you're back. I've missed you.
ReplyDeleteWell, it looks like a bunch of us are in the same spot. Anxiety fights for dominance with ennui around here. Once spring truly arrives, I sense my mood will change. (Meanwhile, my 60th birthday is only a little over a month away and I have absolutely NO PLANS for how to celebrate. What to do? What to do? You did such a great job with Alex's 50th, maybe I should hire you as my party planner!)
ReplyDeleteIt's been a worldwide shit-fest lately, hasn't it? I can't watch the news either. So glad Alex had a wonderful birthday. My love to you both.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand this. In fact I think that I have a blog somewhere that is in a state of flux. I'm glad that Alex had a great party. Celebrations are much better than worries!
ReplyDeleteI know how easily one can get caught up in the issues of the world. That has happened to me too, and have had varying issues on my mind. TV doesn't provide the answers either. I rarely watch the TV news. I sift through what I find online trying to find the truth.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read your last paragraph, I noticed a relation to my post today. The only one in charge of you is you. Have a great day and welcome back!
60th birthday? You can't be serious, Boom Boom.
ReplyDeleteAnd then we could get hit by a bus. Ignore the news. We can't control it other than to turn it off. That's what I do. Oh, and I look both ways before I cross the street. Those buses can sneak up on you.
ReplyDeleteWell, glad you've come out of that foreboding mood but maybe a break from blogging was a good thing. But you could spend your time better than watching the news. Glad to know your son and the wifey escaped the bomb. That was a close call. Heck, one just never knows what others have planned for them.
ReplyDeleteTotsy, I was scared to death. It was a couple of hours before I could reach them. I guess all the cell service was out for a while. But, yeah, I am calming down now and have "blocked" CNN on my tv.
ReplyDeleteGood to see you back! Sometimes the media puts such a negative spin on events, that it's easy to imagine the world is going under and forget all the good people and actions going on in the world.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you finally posted again. I'm glad your son and his wife are safe. I think many of us can relate to your foreboding, and most of us can relate to your news-induced fears.
ReplyDeleteJoey, I swear, if it's not mad cow disease it's radiation from our cell phones! It never ends! But sometimes I really do need to take a breath and tune out to that stuff and tune in to my own realities.
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm feeling dismal, I frequently re-visit your posts. There is something so spiritual and uplifting to be found there day after day. You are charmed! Thank you for posting the miracles you post!
ReplyDeleteIf the media has their way they will keep us in a perpetual state of turmoil. I usually don't watch the news or much tv for that matter...but I did find myself glued to it lately and it's terribly depressing.
ReplyDeleteI think I was worried about John going to Boston. He's 45 and that 26.2 miles is tough on a 19 year old. I guess I was worried for the wrong reasons, but then not being able to reach him after the race sent me into a full panic mode.
ReplyDeleteI read the news everyday, as a reminder that even though stuff stinks out there, there are so many good things (and people) in this world too xoxox
ReplyDeleteOf course, you are right. I think I just get into a negative space sometimes and don't see the good that's all around me. It helps to be reminded! Thank you!
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