Friday, January 29, 2010

I've Got What?






For the last couple of months, I've been doing a balancing act because of a painful shoulder. My whole approach to medicine, doctors, and ailments is the "less is more" philosophy. Give it time, it'll go away. By the time the holidays were here, I was beginning to realize that this was not going away, despite the whole regime of hot packs, cold packs, exercise, massage, Tylenol, and the occasional Bombay Sapphire martini.

I gave it one more chance because I wanted to get through the holidays without a visit to the doctor's office. I hate doctor's offices because they are germy and have sick people in them. Plus, it's so damned intrusive. Open my mouth and say "awwwww". Why?

This week, after a sleepless weekend, I decided to bite the bullet and go see my internist. He's a great guy and understands and sometimes even applauds my aversion to all things medical, (that is, unless it's a problem that has gone on for two months and I'm just now coming in for a consult).

This time I didn't have to disrobe (always a good sign) but the good doctor had me do a variety of movements (most of which caused me to yelp with pain). His conclusion was that I probably have a rotary cuff tear. I submit to you that this diagnosis made me shake my head with abject confusion. How in the hell could my son being a Rotarian cause my shoulder to hurt? The other thing that came immediately to mind was "Roter Rooter" because if rotary cuff tear doesn't sound like a plumbing problem, I don't know what does! Because I didn't want to look dumb (as in stupid, not speechless), I didn't ask what the hell my rotary was and why it had a cuff.

With a prescription for pain medication and the phone number for an orthopedic surgeon (now ask me how much I like the sound of that!), I left the office and came back home. I have an appointment with the specialist next week. Martini anyone?

14 comments:

  1. o crap ..are you sure?? I had one and i can tell you ALL about it..it will take a year to repair itself.....if its torn..if its just strained it will take about a month.........

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  2. Trey, I'm not sure, but something has to done. I really can't sleep with this. Now, surgery does not sound like a good time to me either. Honey, I'm scared to know "all about it". Ignorance is bliss and I'm a simple Mexican woman! :)

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  3. Also, Trey, I'm thinking that after 2 months, it's not "repairing itself" or even getting better, in fact, it's worse. Ugh!

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  4. You might just need a Cortisone shot. Those things are a magic bullet. Hope it feels better soon.

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  5. Thank you for visiting me and I hope you come back often. OMG...You write beautifully! I went back several posts and also read some of your Critter Tails. I will be back a lot! I'm so glad you found me...so I could find you. Hope your shoulder gets better soon. (I'll drink to that)

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  6. Why do they have to call them orthopedic surgeons? Simply calling them a specialist in orthopedic medicine would be much less threatening. I've already had two orthopedic surgeons. One who put a plate in my hand after I broke it and another who's been helping me avoid knee surgery.

    (If I were you, I'd tell your son to quit the Rotary Club immediately!)

    BTW: My word verification is psycha... do you think that means something?

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  7. Val, you are my kind of gal! I love what I read of yours and intend to keep up with you!

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  8. Cat Lady Darling, it means you are pscha-delic! As in wonderous and colorful! Oh Baby, I hate it about your hand. Miserable! I broke my right hand and right foot last year. No martini's involved either! Yikes!

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  9. Linda, forgive me, I am laughing WITH you, not at you! Amazing sense of humor...and "that's my story and I'm sticking with it"!

    Now, you just have to figure out where and when the accident was that caused this injury. Certainly you didn't do this to yourself!

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  10. Alyssa, I could be forgetting how walking my two monster dogs (Honey and Hary or Cujo and "The Destroyer") sometimes is a little like being on the mid-evil torture rack. Honey thinks the squirrel went that way and Hary thinks differerntly. Related, oh who knows!

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  11. Cortisone never worked for me. Good luck, I'm not so fond of my orthopedist since he prescribed Celebrex to me for my knee rather than give me any other option. I don't take drugs that include death as a side effect so I skipped it. I'd have surgery in a heartbeat.

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  12. Jen, I will probably do what the ortho doc recommends. He's a guy who I've met and don't like, but my internist (who doesn't like him either) says "Screw that. He's the best and that's what you want." (I'm with you about not taking drugs that death is a side effect or erections lasting longer than 7 days.)

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  13. How the HELL did you tear your rotary cuff, little lady? You gave up bowling and shot-put tossing years ago!!! Pray, tell?!

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