I used to hear those words from my Mother at least twice a year, but always for the Christmas Eve party she had at her home. Now don't get me wrong, it was nice of her to mention. The only problem was since I was 24, divorced with two kids, and not in a relationship, just who did she think I was going to bring?
Mom knew that I was not in a relationship. She spoke with me every day and every evening too. Since our conversations usually went something like this. Mom, "What are you doing?" Me, "Working", or "Feeding the kids", I can't help but wonder where she thought this guy was that I was hiding from her.
Okay, I began to get nervous around Thanksgiving. Trying to find a guy to date for a month who would be suitably smitten with me that he would want to spend Christmas Eve with me and my family was a lot to ask for. My "dates" were frequently guys who would ask me out, and I would reply "Oh that sounds nice, but I've got the kids." Most of the time, the guy would then suggest that he pick up a bottle of wine and we could order a pizza. Sure, fine.
I'm sure I don't have to tell you how these evenings frequently turned out. That was okay but it did not lead to the kind of relationship required for escorting me and my kids to Mom's for Christmas Eve.
Fortunately, after about 4 years of humiliation about not having a "date" for Christmas, I met Charles. Charles was a delightful gay guy who was not "out" to his family. So for the next three years, he was my Christmas Eve boyfriend and in return I was his Christmas Day girlfriend. It all worked out fine.
If I ask you to my house, I will not tell you to "feel free to bring someone".
It may be wishful thinking on her part or maybe she is very good at being polite while hinting you need to date more...or she is losing her mind. hey just trying to be supportive here and sucking at it...
ReplyDeleteLizzy and Elle, it probably was wishful thinking but it really made me feel embarrassed not to have a "date". Jeeze Louise! I got 4 husbands with no problem, but couldn't find a lousy date for Christmas Eve at Moms. (Unfortunately, Mom passed away about 4 years ago, so now that I have a regular escort and husband, she's not around to see it!)
ReplyDeleteHummm, I never brought boyfriends home. When I brought Randy around, my mother freaked and the first order of business was to hide the Harley in the garage so the neighbors wouldn't talk.
ReplyDeleteOh Linda, what a beautiful picture of you! Oh and I LOVE how you've decorated that room! Yes! I had a gay guy friend and there is nothing better. I was so sad when he moved clear across the country. I swear he could do anything I could do, and do it better.... except have babies. Glad Charles helped you solve the problem with mom...do you still keep in touch with him?
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ReplyDeleteBlackbird, I would have asked Randy to park on the front lawn or even on the porch to show off that Harley.
ReplyDeleteVal, thank you. (My daughter said the picture makes me look fat. Don't care. I like to look happy!) Also, Charles moved with his partner to Australia about 10 years ago. We still send Christmas cards.
Every time I visit my mother in the loony bin she asks how my ex husband is. Each time I tell her that we have divorced. She says she knows that but she also knows we are living together (we are not). I have found it is easier to say that he is fine and leave it at that. It's better than explaining to her why there isn't someone in my house(bed).
ReplyDeleteLinda, I agree that you look lovely in the photo. It's nice to see. Sometimes, I guess, we just don't think of how our words impact others.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, love your son's proposal for a new "Jon and Kate plus 8"...sounds like a winner!
Yes, I can see where he gets his humor!
ok...doin the solo thing
ReplyDeleteAlyssa, Mom just couldn't figure why I wouldn't have a date! Wasn't I popular?
ReplyDeleteTrey, what are you doing home so early?
Knowing your mom as I did, she would've freaked out if you had said the same thing to her were the tables turned. I'm witcha, Sister Soul, always have hated that suggestion and the question, "Are you seeing anyone?"
ReplyDeleteYeah, I did too because the answer was I was seeing a lot of guys, but they weren't seeing me back! Hah!
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