Wednesday, April 28, 2010

High Heel Shoes and Me

From the time I was 14, I have worn only high heeled shoes. I do not own, nor have I ever owned a pair of flats.

I have wedge heeled shoes that are about 2 and 1/2 inches high, and some platforms that are about 3 inches high. But my favorite shoe, and the ones I have the most of are 3 and 1/2 to 4 inch stilettos.

My Darling DIL frequently talks to me about pairs of "darling Uggs". I'm sorry, Darling DIL, there is nothing about Uggs that can be considered even remotely "cute". They are an abomination! They are hideous! They are an atrocity!

No, I do not own a pair of tennis shoes. I don't play tennis. What I do as far as exercise is concerned is walk. And yes, I can walk for two miles in high heels and not suffer in the slightest. In fact, the tendons behind my knees have shortened and now wearing even a 2 inch heel is somewhat uncomfortable to me since I am used to a higher heel.

All of my husbands have thought I was much taller than I am. I never walk around without shoes. When my kids were growing up, platform shoes were all the rage. I loved the extra 6 inches or so I could get with the platforms. As my kids got taller, I did too. They never suspected that I am actually a hair under 5'4" tall. They thought I was about 5' 11".

Actually, the platform shoes worked out really well, except that you do tend to fall a bit. (But remember, I did master the art of the fake faint when I was about 10, so the graceful fall was not far behind.)

As some of you know, I am a Latina. We are by heritage not tall women. I also tended to be a bit on the curvy side, also a Latin trait. Those curves look a lot better on a 5'10" woman than on a much shorter woman.

I am not without my detractors. (Neighbors whisper "Can you imagine, she gardens in those shoes?" or "What on earth is she thinking wearing those hooker shoes at her age?") Well, fug 'em. That's what I think.

On the rare occasions I do not wear shoes, I walk on my toes. People think that is peculiar, and perhaps it is. I had a guy I worked with ask me one time "How would you cross a muddy field wearing those shoes?" Excuse me, why would I cross a muddy field?

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