Thursday, July 8, 2010

My Trumpet Vines Grow A-1 Sauce

I like A-1 Steak Sauce as well as the next guy (or girl as the case may be).

It's just kind of magical that I have a bottle of A-1 growing in my trumpet vines. Look out the window on the left.

Since Alex feels strongly that I cannot become a dominatrix after all, maybe this appearance of steak sauce in my vines can supplement my income.

I've always believed that where there's a will, there's a way. Alex pointed out to the "sex worker" we met at a film premier the other evening, I don't really need the money, but I want the money.

A couple of weeks ago, I had to take my pup Honey in for some extensive tests at the vet. The total for her tests was about $800. Add on to that me having two trips to the hospital ER because of an infected leg after a cat bite, (another $500 for co-pays), and you may understand what I'm talking about.

If I can get more bottles of A-1 Steak Sauce on that vine, I can get the new fall collection Prada shoes after all. Or, in lieu of that, we can go on a real little vacation involving hotels, room service, and not just call it "Dog Tour-Twenty Ten". (Alex came up with that name but I called it our "Broke Ass Can't Take A Vacation Day Trips with Dogs".)

Sure those pink flowers are pretty, but the A-1 Sauce is worth a lot more money the way I figure it. I can contact the A-1 company and tell them what I'm growing and sell my secret to them. That will certainly be worth some money.

Actually, what I'd really like to do is tweak the soil a little bit and see if I can get some dollars to start growing on those vines. Just cut out the middle man routine completely. Any suggestions?

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