She's So Horny

Paris! Fashion Week!

I was there several years ago during fashion week. Alas, I didn't get invited to any of the collections shows. (Or maybe it's that I didn't buy a ticket.) I really don't know how that works. Alex was not sad over this turn of events, although he did watch Fashion TV on cable with me.

The part he liked was the dudes with the cigarette hanging out of their mouths and looking totally bored grooming the girls' landing strips, fluffing them up and putting a little spray or gel on them to keep them in place.

I had no idea that was the "in" look that year. For you who might not know, a landing strip is a pubic patch that is about an inch and a half wide and no longer than an inch. Kind of a cute look.

It was sort of interesting to watch and in the fashion world, nudity is not a big deal at all. Some of the clothing is transparent. Actually, in Europe, I don't think nudity is a big deal. Amazing!

I think it's better to always keep at least one thing on, don't you?

I sort of like the dress, but find the horns a little disconcerting. What if I turn my head too quickly when the person next to me is leaning in to say something to me? I could cause damage.

I would not wear a dress that long. It would completely hide my shoes and we all know I don't want that to happen. I might not carry that fur thing either, but that's me.

Lindsay Sentenced To Jail Time

I watched this live this afternoon and was very surprised at the amount of sympathy I have for this young woman.

While I certainly don't condone her actions, I think maybe it's the mother in me that hated to see her in tears and trying to explain her actions. She's only 24 years old, and yes, that is an adult, but she is a very troubled girl.

People start their kids off in this strange path, and frequently the child turns into a franchise. Nobody else in the family works. The kid becomes the family business.

When you are supporting a family of 4 and you are 14 or 15 years old, I'm sure the dynamics of the family are quite different from anything I've experienced. I've seen photos of Lindsay from when she was still a teenager passed out from drugs or alcohol at parties. These photos are prized by the sleazy magazines because they help to sell copies.

Both of Lindsay's parents are disgraceful and have never given her the "parenting" she needed. She's a troubled and lost young woman. She broke the law and now she's going to pay for it by serving time in a jail. When I saw her break down crying, it really made me sick. Put the damned parents in the jail too.

The only positive thing that came out of this is that after serving her sentence, Lindsay will have to go to rehab for 90 days which might even save her life. She was sentenced to 90 days in jail, which I am sure will not be 90 days. Still, the girl is sick and needs treatment, not punishment.

I've seen Lindsay in a couple of movies and think she's cute. I don't really know a damned thing about her. I just think that she's gotten a pretty raw deal in life. As parents, we have an obligation to our children, not the other way around.

If you don't agree, feel free to say so. I don't bite (hard).

Shoe and Tell

Hiking Boots
for those trips into the woods

Gardening Shoes
with steel toes

Play Shoes
with cat bite scars showing

Movie Theater Going Shoes

Summer Shoes

PTA Meeting Shoes

Funeral Shoes

Shoes like Nicky's shoes!

Sex Worker, Sniff The Dog, Tattoos

We went to a world premier (well, kind of) of the film "Sniff the Dog" last night at the Auto Body Fine Art Gallery in Alameda. This was a benefit for the Alameda Animal Shelter. The film actually was being premiered after some editing, but who's counting! It's all for a good cause. The movie itself was pretty good, by the way, so if you get invited to another (newly edited) world premier of it, (well, kind of), I'd suggest you go!

I met a very interesting lady who was a self proclaimed "sex worker". Wow! At first she told me she was a hair dresser, but had a side line. Because she acted a little mysterious about the side line, I quipped "Oh, you sell meth too?" and she was slightly offended. She responded that she was a "sex worker".

Since I've never really considered it "work", I was naturally very curious! This gal was in her late 40's and I was intrigued that she made money in this way. She started telling me about her clients and indicated that she was kind of a dominitrix, and explained some of her specialties to me. I told her, "Hey! I could do that! Plus, I like leather and stiletto heels!"

The woman smiled and said "Well, that's a beginning". Alex was not encouraging of my new friendship with the sex worker woman. What is he afraid of? That I'll start being a dominitrix too? Some men would find that, uhm, interesting in a wife! We did exchange email addresses before the evening was over. I really just have such an inquiring mind.

There were two ladies sitting behind me who according to Alex clutched their pearls at the conversation the sex worker and I were having. But, never mind them.

I made another good friend last night. He's a tattoo artist! This dude has ink! I think we make a cute couple sort of. I thought about my girl Nicky when I met him because she has some elegant little tats herself! Also, you may notice my friend holding a plate of cheese! Now this could be coincidence but I don't think so!

The thing is, I'm not opposed to tattoos at all. In fact, I find them kind of fascinating. I met a man many years ago and he was a very religious guy. He had a lot of scripture tattooed on him which I think is a nice idea. If you got bored with him, you would still have something worthwhile to read. This guy was really a trip. On our first (and only) date, he shared with me that he was even tattooed on his, well, private parts.

This was truly a tatted up crowd! The sex worker, the guy, and then my other new friend with the amazing leg tattoos! I'm sorry, but "Ouch!".

I was waiting in the car for Alex when he ran into our local market for some ice this afternoon, when the most amazing young lady ever walked into the store! She was wearing Daisy Dukes, and a lace up little top that left nothing to the imagination. This is the one time I left my iphone on the charger at home. I was actually praying that Alex would take a photo of her because as far as I could see, not one single inch of flesh was without a tattoo. (And I could see a lot of that flesh!) She also had about 20 facial piercings. I was sure Alex would get a photo of her for me. Alas, he did not. Bummer!

And for any of you purists out there, I may not be spelling the "dominitrix" word right! Any suggestions for correction would be appreciated and applauded!

At Linda's House, Even The Dog Is A Wino

I know for sure nobody poured that glass of wine for Harry. In fact, we all know that alcohol is not good for dogs.

There are doggie downers that we can use for the 4th of July if the fireworks get to be too much for him. Harry is not a fan of noise.

I don't really know why he is on that table either. Alex says "Because it makes him feel good", but I think that's ridiculous. Why would climbing on a table make him feel good?

I can't help but think this is just one more example of this dog's peculiarity.

Alex was digging around in the dirt next to the basement where he has his man cave. (Believe me, this is a real man cave and you don't want to see it. I won't even go in there no matter what.)

Alex came out acting totally like he had found the lost tablets from that Indiana Jones movie. He found a real treasure. Now our house was built in 1880, so what's in that dirt could be old, or it could be circa 1985, Cost Plus. How would we know?

This is what he found buried down there.

I think it's kind of goofy and sort of cute. Alex thinks it's a relic from the Indians who used to inhabit the area. It's very heavy and very primitive looking. The thing is, it looks like it could be something that was created by aliens, don't you think? Who else would think to mount somebody's stone head on a stick?

I'm not bringing it in the house because of bad luck if it is from aliens. They might have it "bugged" so they can watch us in the house. I don't care if they watch us doing things in the yard, because it's nice to have an audience when you want one.

I really just don't worry about this "thing" very much. Now if it had come from an area like this, I would be much more concerned.

I guarantee you nothing good comes out of an area that looks like this one does. Do you see that weird assed tree limb sticking out all wrong? Oh I'm not saying it's anything evil about trees, but just what is the point of that? Uh huh. That's what I thought. I rest my case.


I mentioned that I took my wristwatch in to have it serviced at Cartier. Alex bought me a gorgeous timepiece 4 years ago and it worked perfectly until it just quit last week. We had to go to the Cartier shop in San Francisco to get it fixed, and fortunately, all it needed was a new battery. Cartier is a pretty upscale place and there were armed security guards all around. I had a sales associate by the name of Rand (of course it was probably Randy, but Rand is so much more sophisticated) who was a very upscale guy. Gorgeous suit, wonderful watch on his wrist, perfect hair, teeth and grammar, and an attitude that said "What are the likes of you doing in this fine establishment?"

We had no sooner walked in but Alex has to find the bathroom. I swear, that man has to use the toilet where ever we go worse than any 5 year old kid. (Personally, I only like home toilets if at all possible.) Rand gave Alex directions to the facilities and then escorted me to a desk to fill out my paperwork for the watch's repairs.

The whole place is as hushed as a church, and Alex comes up behind me while I'm sitting there. He announces to me in his normal pitch of voice, "Man! I really had to go! Man! I was wondering if I'd even make it to the toilet! Man! It must have been all that coffee this morning!" His comments echoed through the store and raised the eyebrows of everyone within earshot.

I had tried to "shush" him but to no avail. Rand kept inspecting my watch with a jewelers loop to make sure it was not on the stolen list, or a fake or something, and twisted his pretty lips into a little sneer. It never occurs to Alex that some things are just not "Cartier" conversations.

Rand warmed up considerably to Alex when he realized he was not my boy for hire, but my husband, and in fact, the purchaser of the watch.

I love my husband, but he can be so "ghetto" sometimes.

Snakes And Sushi

What is there about this sign that you don't understand? There is nothing about it that I do not understand.

What it means to me is I'm not going there. If there is a sign telling you, (as this one is) that rattlesnakes are not aggressive and we must not harm one, then I'm saying fine. I agree with that in principle. But I'm not going there.

Snakes are great and I saw that movie "Snakes On a Plane" and I flew again because I know there are not really going to be snakes on a plane. (Or maybe I've just convinced myself.)

It all started out as a really nice day. Alex pulled out the M-Roadster and took me to a wonderful little Japanese restaurant for lunch. We were going to try and decide about an adventure to go on this afternoon with the pups.

This is the hostess of the restaurant. Pretty, isn't she?

We had sushi and tea and talked about our options. We didn't want to drive too far but we wanted the dogs to continue their "Dawg Tour - Twenty Ten".

Alex came up with the idea to drive up into the Oakland Hills. Now some of you might picture Oakland a certain way, and in some areas you might be right. There is poverty, gang activity, and blight. But there is another side to Oakland too and it's pretty amazing.


Oakland has some of the most beautiful homes and scenery to be had in Northern California. And they have some pretty magnificent views from the hills. It all seemed like a great idea until we turned onto Snake Road.

Snake Road writhed along for a few miles until we reached a wonderful park. That is, it looked like a wonderful park until we got out of the car and I saw the sign about Rattlesnakes. This area is very heavily "natural" (as in NATURE) and if they have snakes, they are going to also have wildcats, mountain lions, gorillas, maybe zombies and or aliens, cannibals, and all sorts of things that I do not want to encounter.

Alex started trotting up the path with the dogs while I called out to him to go on ahead. I would catch up later. Later like in another lifetime. Here is a photo of Alex with the dogs out in nature.

I could hear things making weird rustling noises in the bushes. And, did I mention there were trees? Lots of trees.

So there they go, my little family and I can only pray I will see them again. I went back to the parking lot and met a couple of Japanese guys with a cute little dog named Jake. Jake and I became fairly fast friends while I tried to warn his owners that going into that park might not be the best idea ever because of the "nature" stuff. They listened but did not heed my advise.

Alex and Harry and Honey made it back safely and only after about 15 minutes. I was a nervous wreck by then and trying to find a Park Ranger to go in after them. All I can say is thank goodness they have me as the brains of the bunch!