Since our marriage in 1989, I have received red roses on Valentine's Day every year from my husband, Alex. I also get a sweet mushy card and give him one as well.
Okay, Alex always gives me a gift on top of the roses and the card. Some years it's a piece of jewelry. Some years it's a nightgown. Some years it's a ticket to the Monterey Aquarium. He's a good husband.
I was talking to a woman I know a while ago who was lamenting how tough it was to find a "good man". She had recently joined Match.com and another dating site and was having no luck at all even after having about 30 "dates" and numerous contacts. This woman was horrified that the men on these sights lie about their height. She is about 5'8" tall and wanted to meet a man who was at least 6' tall.
Now, I completely understand caring a whole lot if a man I met told me he was single and he was lying. I would be horrified if a man told me he was a salesman and neglected to mention that crack cocaine was what he sold. I might even be upset if a man failed to mention that he was actually a little bit pre-op on the female to male sex change operation. But height? Who even asks somebody how tall they are to decide if you want to date them or not.
I know a guy who meets some women on dating sites and he gave me the skinny. If you put that you are 5'6" tall, nobody wants to date you. So, he uses 5'9" on his profile just to keep from being completely ignored. His feeling is that a woman just might like him if she met him and she might not notice the 3" he's adding.
I don't get it. I've been married to two men who were, well, short. Alex is a short guy. I am taller than he is in heels. (I've also been married to tall people because I'm an equal opportunity bride.) Maybe it's just me, but I really don't have rigid rules about who I will be attracted to. (I don't actually "date" now that I'm married, but you get my point.) When I was dating, I dated men who were old, men who were young, men who were fat and men who were skinny. I also dated rich men and poor men and healthy men and sick men. I may or may not have even dated a couple of girls along with the good men and the bad men.
Love is about the person, not the measurement, whether height, weight, salary, or I.Q.
I'm never joining "Match.com".
Yep. And that's just one of the very MANY reasons I will NOT sign up for ANY online dating sites. No way. No how.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you & Alex are such a fabulous couple.
XOXOX
My ex-husband is 6'5" tall. He cheated on me multiple times. So in my experience, it's not good to get involved with those real tall ones. Although I still miss him when I want to get the skis off the car roof-top rack and I can't quite reach.
ReplyDeleteBarbara, I'd just get a step ladder. Much less trouble than a 6'5" cheater.
ReplyDeleteThank you Baby. I don't see myself ever signing up for a dating service. Shoot, there's a boy on every corner when you're trying to get home. Just go grab one.
ReplyDeleteYes....you dated girls. Remember me?
ReplyDeleteYou are one lucky lady to have Alex - and he is lucky as well!
ReplyDeleteIt's a good thing they don't ask the men for other measurements -if you get my drift...
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What about short men with red noses?
ReplyDeleteI am a bit taller than my husband and we will celebrate 20 years of marriage this month. I think she could be missing out on a good guy over concern for a height requirement. Too bad.
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Of course I remember you, quite fondly in fact!
ReplyDeleteLM, I think size matters in character but not much else. It's not what you've got, it's how you use it.
ReplyDeleteI've dated those too, Nick.
ReplyDeleteRigid requirements don't usually give you the best choices. Happy Anniversary, Meg!
ReplyDeleteI don't think dating sites are the way to go. I think I read somewhere that 4 out of 5 matches through dating sites fail. If I ever find myself single I think I'll meet women the old fashioned way...walk up to them in the grocery store and ask them what their sign is. What?
ReplyDeleteDufus, it's always worked with me. (Another good one is "I like your shoes." )
ReplyDeleteI went to a luncheon yesterday and just happened to be seated next to three women that were talking about their dating adventures on the Internet. They, too were disappointed about how the men looked compared to their profile description or their pictures. They were very clear in the telling it wasn't that the person was older or heavier it was that they lied. The lying disturbed them. Maybe the guy you talked to feels like he could win the person over once they meet but that person will always be aware that they are capable of being dishonest. I think the 5'6" person would be better to state it like it is and hope that someone is open to wanting a good short man.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sick all of the time, and because I'm poked with so many needles, and prodded with so many medical devices, at the end of the day, the LAST thing I want is to be touched by another human being.
ReplyDeleteI'd much rather spend my time on the internet, than having intercourse.
#Team Single Forever.
xoxox
I may be in the minority, but I could never date a man shorter than I. My father was very short (maybe five feet tall in his later years) and had the short man/Napoleon complex and we did not get along well. I'm sure that has a lot to do with my attitude.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you, Linda. M is a short guy, he's not much taller than I am and I'm short for a woman. But I couldn't care less, because he's kind and attentive and he brings me flowers. ;) I love him, tall or not.
ReplyDeleteActually, I prefer men who are built kind of like fire hydrants, Ziva. Short and wide. I'm not tall either, and without shoes, Alex is about my height. With 3 or 4 inch heels (on me, not him), he's shorter than me. I really consider it a non-issue.
ReplyDeleteI've dated, danced with, and married a lot of short men. Far from having a short man complex, many of them are just as self confident and charming as their taller brothers.
ReplyDeleteCheryl, the woman who complained about the "short guys" to me, has been less than totally honest on her own profile. She's 43 and has never been married but states she's divorced. She has not attended college and claims she is a college graduate. She also states that she is "spiritual but not religious" when she's very active in the Jewish community and attends the synogog about once a week. I really don't think any of those things should be terribly important, but I doubt you see a lot of total honesty on those dating sites.
ReplyDeleteIf I wanted a date, I'd ask the mailman to go out with me (if he was cute). Sometimes what you see is what you get.
I've dated all kinds of guys too (not an equal opportunity bride, but an equal opportunity dater). Yeah, call me weird, but content of character is higher on my list than height. Sometimes not much higher, but higher just the same!
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking the right person for you might be a brilliant and darling doctor.
ReplyDeleteThe issue of height is way down my list, Nicky. But then, I do have some other standards despite what I say about fat and skinny. People do have to have teeth and keep them reasonably clean. They have to wash their hair if they have hair. So I'm not as free and easy as I claim.
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It's been a long time since I've been on a date but back in the dark ages I knew some cuties who could look me in my 5'4 eyes : )
ReplyDeleteYou are right. We shouldn't judge men on their height any more than we wished to be judged on our weight. Yes, a little taller is nice. My husband is a mere two inches taller than me, which means I can tower over him in heels. But who cares? He's been a keeper!
ReplyDeletenow THAT would be awesome!
ReplyDeleteGood things can certainly come in small (or short) packages!
ReplyDeleteShot men have never bothered me because of their height. Sitting on the couch, we're the same. Know what I mean?
ReplyDeleteAnd Cher was taller than Sonny. I don't care much about height either. I dated a guy who was 6'5" and he was the biggest jerk I'd met in all my days. Literally. I can send his number to her if she wants tall.
ReplyDeleteI've dated some very tall guys too. As in most things, some were hot and some were not. It just shouldn't be a deciding factor ignoring the more important parts of a person.
ReplyDeleteLinda I agree with you, when it comes to men, it's the content not the package. Although given I'm 5'3" finding a taller guy has never been an issue. My DH is 6'4". As for Valentine's Day, Steve's OCD comes through in spades.
ReplyDeleteI'm 5'4" Ann, but I do sport the 4 inch stilettos so I appear a few inches taller than my husband.
ReplyDeleteHey Linda! This one slipped past me, apologies. As a strapping 6'5" fella, it's good to know there's women who like tall guys out there; you'd need to wear some pretty tall heels to even get close ;) Indigo x
ReplyDeleteMarvelous things come in both big and small packages, Indigo. Being tall is great, but you are so much more than just tall. I think we can add handsome, brilliant, charming, and talented to the height attribute.
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ReplyDeleteThe only size that matters as the size of the heart and in that you and Alex are the perfect "Match." Love you both oodles and bunches. :)
ReplyDeleteLove you too, Jayne. Size, like age, is just a number.
ReplyDeleteI bet Alex would wonder what was up if you did join match.com. :)
ReplyDeleteYay! Congrats, Linda! :D
ReplyDeletePeople are people regardless of their height or lack of it. My hubby is 9 inches taller than me. Works for me!
ReplyDeleteHow sad that people will not put their real height because they know they won't get contacted. Are people that interested in height that it is more important than looking at who they are first? Ack!
ReplyDeleteBobby DeNiro is short. I love him. I would have dated him in a minute. Tom Cruise is short, but he's not my type. (If Tom was 6'2" he would not be my type.) It's just not important to me. And I don't see why it is to a lot of women.
ReplyDeleteMerri, I crack me up too sometimes, but it always surprises me when people find my musings too outrageous. I'm joking, but I'm serious about the point of the piece. Know what I mean?
ReplyDeleteEqual opportunity bride-you never fail to crack me up, Linda!
ReplyDeleteOkay, I admit a flavor of the month in there with the other husbands.
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