Wednesday, May 1, 2013

How The Internet Damn Near Killed Me Today

I love exotic fruits and vegetables. 

The first time I tried "Dragon Fruit" I was sold on this weird looking cactus family thing with the hot pink flesh. 

When I was at the store last weekend, I saw something very interesting called "Cherimoya".  The sign said to slice the fruit and remove the seed and "enjoy".

I stuck the weird looking fruit in the bowl with bananas and waited until it had softened a bit.  I don't usually eat breakfast, but decided this exotic fruit would be a perfect choice for my lunch.  I carved it in half and then proceeded to eat it with a spoon, after clearing out the obvious seeds. 

It tasted like a vanilla custard and I was delighted.  I was forced to sort of spit out some of the seeds as they were spread willy nilly all through the fruit.  I may have even missed one or two.  No big deal I figured.

I looked up the cherimoya fruit and read about the taste and the origins (the Andes, I think), and thought to myself, "Dang!  I wonder why this isn't more popular!  It's delicious!

I saw a heading called "Cherimoya seeds" and decided to read the article.  I was expecting some quirky little recipe that would turn these seeds into a tasty treat!  I was sort of stunned when the article discussed how DEADLY POISON the seeds were.  In fact, these black seeds are used to make an insecticide.  About that time, I began to perspire and my stomach felt very weird.  I had hot and cold flashes as my kidneys began to fail and my hair and teeth started falling out.  (Okay, I'm lying, but I really was having a hissy fit!)

Now don't get me wrong, I didn't "eat" the seeds.  But a small one might have slipped down my gullet.  I just wasn't sure.  I thought about going to the ER but then realized that it would probably be too late by the time I got there, and they would charge me a $250 co-pay.  Screw that.

I thought long and hard about it and decided to call the "poison control" people and ask them what to do.  I called the number with shaking hands and spoke to a really nice woman who had never heard of Cherimoya.  But she was nice and calm and said, "Let me just look it up and see what's what."  Very calmly, she said, "I think you are okay though." 

She said to me "The good news is that you didn't crush the seeds and eat them."  (Of course, I didn't crush the seeds and eat them!  Who does that?)  She said since the seed or seeds were swallowed intact, they would just work there way through my system.  No problem.

I did feel a lot better though.  I quit sweating and my hands quit shaking and my kidney failure seemed to stop.  My teeth and hair aren't falling out either.

Life is good.  Ignorance is bliss.

50 comments:

  1. Now I must try this. And maybe the seeds, too. Only death truly makes you feel alive, I say.

    Actually, I never say that.

    I'm glad you're okay and able to being us your stories, Linda.

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  2. Damn, you live life on the edge! Although, a fruit that tastes like vanilla custard might be worth a missing tooth or two. Might even be worth a little bit of kidney failure.

    And, as I am wont to do when you have one of these near-death experiences, I would like to remind you that there will be no dying without my express permission. Which I don't give. So please carry on living. Thank you.



    :-)

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  3. There is something terribly unsettling about a Poison Control person saying " I THINK you are ok. I want them to say, I am 100 percent certain there isn't a problem.



    I agree with you though...I might be willing to take a chance on something that taste like vanilla custard.

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  4. I love cherimoya and often eat them...and yes, I swallow the seeds! Quite often.

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  5. I don't think I would go near that fruit again! You could have bitten into a seed without realizing it. How dangerous to sell them without a warning. I'm glad you didn't pop your clogs though.

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  6. Oh, Linda! I'm sorry I'm laughing, but I would have had the SAME reaction after googling the effects of eating those seeds and gone full-blown-panic-attack!

    Thank goodness you weren't / aren't in any danger! And at least the fruit tasted like vanilla custard!

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  7. I think the worst part is reading that this could be deadly to bugs. Of course, I'm bigger than a bug, but I have way more anxiety issues than bugs have.

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  8. Thanks Babs! I hate popping my clogs! I also hate having anxiety attacks! I can only gather that the internet made it sound much more deadly and dangerous than it actually is. I don't eat watermelon seeds on purpose either, but it can happen pretty easily. It's the anxiety that really might kill me. I hate reading the "warnings" and "side effects" on pills too. I start having all the symptoms immediately. I don't read them any more.

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  9. I'd go straight for vanilla custard. No seeds. Boy, you're a lucky one. Glad to hear you'll still be around for a while, Linda. And ease up on the exotic fruit, eh?

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  10. The fruit is really amazing. Low calorie and just brimming with creamy goodness, Cheryl. The Poison Control lady was really nice and reassuring. And I'm not dead which indicates she was probably right.

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  11. The fruit is wonderful. If I hadn't gone to the "cherimoya seeds" article, I would have not been in any danger at all. That high anxiety can kill you! (You've seen my panic attack in a locked car with the windows rolled up and the alarm going off. I could have died then too, but not from being locked in the car. Know what I mean?)

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  12. I think you have enough on your plate already, Michael. More stress is not the answer. Maybe a nice massage.

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  13. The fruit is a delight. I have such panic attacks from reading anything medical so I generally just avoid reading stuff like that. But I know people roast punkin seeds, and such. This was not what I expected. It scared me to death and I don't even know if I ate a seed or not.

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  14. Fiona, I'm wondering if eating the seeds would give me a better "eye" for photography! Just don't chew the seeds, Darling. That would be bad. Letting them slip down the gullet with the tasty fruit is fine I gather! At least, so far, so good. It really is an amazingly delicious fruit!

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  15. Bananas are so blah. Oranges bore me. Apples, I can do without. Peaches, but only the really good ones, are fine. Melons need something with them. If you ever get the chance, try the pink dragon fruit. It's gorgeous and delish too! This stuff was amazingly tasty. I wish it wasn't potentially deadly.

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  16. I refuse to read possible side effects too. Our minds can play havoc sometimes :)

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  17. My doctor knows me well enough to tell me what I should look out for. He's had too many panicked calls from me when I used to read the stuff myself.

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  18. Ha ha ha! Most good doctors will tell you what you need to know. My doctor gave me a web link for something and said DON'T read any other sites on the subject, only this one. She knew that they often scare monger :)

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  19. I read about symptoms and I convince myself I have them. I used to call my doc all the time and I think he thought I was a hypochondria. Uh huh. He was right. Now he just tells me if I turn yellow, call him.

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  20. Oh my god, you need to be more careful! Still, death by exotic fruit sounds like a really good way to go. ;)

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  21. Only if you do it in Paris! Then it's romantic!

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  22. Well, this strange fruit sounded like something I wanted to try until I got to the part about the poisonous seeds!

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  23. It's kind of one of those "Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?". I might eat another one, but I would really be careful about the seeds next time.

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  24. You were rightfully scared to death!

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  25. Love this post! Omagoodness, I SO relate!

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  26. What everyone else said. Especially Meleah's comment about being really, really sorry to laugh at your near-death experience.

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  27. You realize that the high blood pressure and heart pounding were due to what I read, more than what I ingested. Had I not read that damn "seeds" article, I would have been just fine.

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  28. I hate being scared to death over my impending death, particularly if I'm wrong.

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  29. While it goes by many names depending on the region, this is a very interesting plant/fruit. It is good that any seeds you ingested were intact. I, too, am surprised there was no warning not to eat the seeds, although most people would avoid hard seeds in fruit. Still, many seeds are edible - thing pomegranate. Thanks for the education.

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  30. I was sort of surprised there was no warning on the fruit, but I think I considered it like watermelon. I don't eat the seeds, but don't worry about them either. When I went to the "seeds" article, I was expecting some kind of a "recipe" like for pumpkin seeds. Yeah, I was surprised!

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  31. Just be sure to NEVER swallow a watermelon seed because a whole watermelon will grow in your belly. :) So glad you're teeth didn't fall out and ruin that lovely smile.

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  32. Jayne, I swallowed watermelon seeds twice and got Sheila and John out of it. (But I'm not doing that again.)

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  33. OH, great! Another way to do yourself in without even trying!

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  34. Well, yeah. That's why I was laughing so hard. I have one rule about the internet: don't Google anything that might have something to do with health. That pretty much rules out most things except birds. ;-)

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  35. Of course, Michael Whiteman-Jones would disagree with that, Cheryl. He says that birds will pluck your eyes out because that's what they do. I think he got that of the internet.

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  36. Ha ha I know about these seeds from Chopped LOLOL!

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  37. I think he pulled that one out of thin air & now he's a legend. I just did a Google search on 'birds peck your eyes out' and MWJ's blog is the 5th in the list of top responses. Ahahahahaha!

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  38. Dahamn! I can't believe I'm finally able to post on your blog again!


    Imma hafe to try this fruit!

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  39. I really loved the taste of the cherimoya! But the reading about the danger of the seeds sort of put me off the stuff.

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  40. The fruit is great but dang the danger in eating some is just too much for me to handle!

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  41. My suicide plan has always involved peanut butter on dry rye toast with no water.

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  42. MWJ is a legend. Sometimes he scares me.

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  43. seeds good, crushing bad. Got it! Glad you are OK. Stick with chocolate ;)

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  44. The Equestrian VagabondMay 10, 2013 at 9:18 PM

    did you miss the part of the sign that said "DON'T EAT THE SEEDS OR YOU MIGHT DIE!" ??????

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  45. There was no sign, Merri. I take it as a sign that I am still alive and almost kicking!

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  46. Chocolate makes me happier than fruit and I have the pounds to prove that!

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  47. The fruit sounds divine except the poisonous seed part. I think before I try anything new I shall google it since I don't won't to go through what you did...even if it's only my imagination, too!

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  48. Hahaha! Oh dear! I am not laughing at you being scared, its just totally something I would do, and then think I was dying the whole time!

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  49. Kato, if I read about measles, I start seeing spots. If I read about lice, I start itching. I'm hopelessly impressionable.

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