Saturday, May 4, 2013

Who's Your Daddy?

 My single red rose bush has given us two very distinctive types of flowers this year.  In the top photo, you see deep red roses the approximate size of dinner plates.  There are six of them.

In the photo below, there are about 50 small roses, a paler color, and the size of drink coasters.

I really never considered the sex lives of roses, but now I feel I must.  It seems rather apparent to me that some rose has been spreading his or her pollen in a new bush.

These roses are not even the same color.  It would be like trying to pass off a Chinese baby as Irish/German to a suspicious husband.   Or perhaps an Irish/German baby to a suspicious Chinese husband.

Now, I know flowers are the result of some kind of pollen spreading routine.  I don't think actual sex occurs, but I've never watched the roses at night which may be why I don't see anything sexy happening.  There is something going on that isn't exactly kosher.

First of all, this is not a new rose bush.  It's been here for 10 years or so.  This is the first year there has been any suspicion of infidelity on my part.  In every other year, the roses have been pretty much the same old thing.  Just roses.

I'm wondering if I should do something to try and soothe tempers out there.  I mean, having babies that are a lot different from what you expected probably causes some traumatic hurt feelings.

I hope the plants lives through this experiment in infidelity.  Some do, you know.  Some don't. 


52 comments:

  1. Hmmm, this all sounds like keys in a bowl to me...

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  2. When I lived in Oregon, one of my pink azaleas suddenly produced a branch with white flowers. I searched through garden books and found that it's pretty common. I guess I do not have the imagination you do re: flowers fooling around after dark out in the garden--I just went to "Sunset's Western Gardens." Anyway....it's called a "sport," which kind of goes along with your fooling around theories. But it's a genetic mutation. For azaleas, the explanation I found had to do with the plant being a nursery-developed hybrid and then reverting back to one parent or the other, only on part of the plant. This explanation for rose sports says it's a mutation, and very common in roses, even producing some sought-after varieties. Here's a link: http://www.gardenlife.com/store/information/science/tip/sportsperspective.html?mode=preview But your theory is more fun!

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  3. I really think your description of a "Sport" rose is great and it says something about masculine nature. Flowers may not do anything at all in the dark, but I know fish do. I've seen them.

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  4. I always figured flowers to be of the a-sexual community. I don't think there is a gay or heterosexual issue there and as the seasons change, they don't hang around long enough to start a ruckus. They have a bittersweet ending, I guess. I'd wanna be a rose until it was time to die.

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  5. Dying roses bother me a lot, Totsy. They are just so freaking perfect and then they are gone. The only thing that keeps me going is that next Spring, they will all be back. I think we do the same thing.

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  6. I know nothing about the sex life of roses - but wow! Those huge roses are just gorgeous.

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  8. Linda this is a very thorny issue. I'm sure you'll get to the root cause of the problem.

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  9. Randy roses!! Linda - they are your rose bushes - would you expect any thing else? Seriously, my father bred Camellias and when a different color blossom would appear, that was called a "sport" and he would cut it off and graft it on root stock and produce a new type of Camellia. But, I was too little to get into the birds and bees of flowers.

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  10. Barbara got it right - the gorgeous dinner plate roses were grafted onto common rootstock.

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  11. Face it, Linda... the flowers are just responding to your amorous vibes!

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  12. Oh Boom Boom, I am much more like the teacup type roses these days. I ain't what I used to be!

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  13. But, Tami, who grafted them? Not me! And why did they not bloom for 10 years? There's some sneaky stuff going on here.

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  14. I've had a couple of husbands who were "Sports". All this science talk has made me thirsty!

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  15. Roots and thorns sound very racy to my way of thinking Dufus. Just remember you are in mixed company.

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  16. Fiona, I just plant them, water them, spray them when they get bugs, and give them rose food. What they do at night is none of my business. The roses are really impressive. And the scent is heavenly!

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  17. And they looked so happy together! Just goes to show you, you never can tell what goes on behind open doors. I just hope the babies don't pay for the sins of their parents...

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  18. That's what I'm saying, Nicky! Those huge roses can't help it if they are from a wandering "Sport". So nobody should hate them cause they are beautiful.

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  19. Jeanie, I think it might be better to go out and quietly watch what is going on at night. Or maybe I could set up a "spy cam".

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  20. Funny, this reminded me immediately of the Little Prince talking to his rose under a jar. And NO I am NOT perverting that wonderful book by even suggesting he had sex with the rose! (After all, she was older... she was a RILF)



    As far as your Roses... there is something going on at night indeed!

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  21. Something's going right at your house. Even the plants are all stirred up. Good for you!

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  22. Sings "Love Child, never meant to be..."

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  23. The size of dinner plates! How strong is their scent?

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  24. The scent is magical! I can smell them when I'm in the office with the windows closed.

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  25. The plants are a lively bunch, Nora. Much livelier than us!

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  26. I'm going to get a nanny cam with night vision for them. I just want to see for myself!

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  27. Oh my, naughty naughty roses... You're something else, Linda, even your roses lead interesting and wild lives.

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  29. Roses are nymphomaniacs, Ziva. Little known fact!

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  30. Love how you see the funny in everything. Hey, at least it's not half rose half carrot...

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  37. How is it possible - your rose bushes live a more fascinating life than I do!

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  42. Worse, I could have carrots growing in my roses.

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  43. Yes, but we could eat the carrots! (Okay, that may be blaming the baby for the parent's sin.)

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  45. Ten years...guess those roses decided it was time to fool around!

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  46. Hahaha! You make me laugh!

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