As I thought to myself "Self, you've really done it this time", I realized that my left hand was turned in a really weird and painful way! Shoot! (Yeah, that's not the word I used.) I got to my feet and stumbled into the house and looked in the mirror. Shoot! (Again, that's not the word I used!) My nose was bloody and shoved to the side, my mouth was bleeding from where my front teeth had cut into my lip, and my eyes were rapidly turning black. Oh shoot! (Right!)
I called my doting husband and asked him to come home and take me to the ER. I stuck ice packs on my face and hand and spent the time hoping for the best.
The hospital asked me if I was a victim of domestic violence, and I assured them that I was merely a victim of clumsiness and stupidity. My face would heal, I was assured, but my hand was fractured. Shoot! (Damnation!)
Being a vain bitch, the face sort of bothered me. It did look like I had been busted in the mouth and nose by an abusive lover. (Most of my lovers would have hesitated to hit me because I am actually a good shot.)
After 5 weeks in a cast, I was actually beginning to feel more pain, not less, in my hand. I visited the doctor yesterday who told me that while my bones had healed, I now had nerve damage in my hand that was causing the swelling and pain. Oh shoot! I'm set up with a physical therapist on Friday so I'm counting on that helping. My hand looks sort of like a monster movie, all swollen and shiny and collapsed in certain areas. The doctor told me he could recommend me to a pain clinic, but I really don't want to go around sticking morphine patches on myself for the rest of my life so I'll wait a while for that.
Now, what really pisses me off is that I got a call from American Express this morning asking me if I had made a $300 purchase at a supermarket in New York within the last hour. I assured the agent that I had not. Apparently, my credit card had been "cloned" and used today. Fortunately, we may have caught it before any real damage was done. Shit! That's good news! (Yeah, I mean "Shoot"!)
Linda, it's great to have you back! Looking good, m'dear! Fingers crossed for your hand (no pun intended). Thinking of you x Indigo
ReplyDeleteYou look Fab! Hope you feel LOTS better soon. Xxx
ReplyDeleteTry to stay on your feet until the week of October 13, eh? Good to hear you're healing nicely. Well, except for that nerve thing.
ReplyDeleteI don't say 'shoot' when things like that happen, either. Nor do I say 'gosh', 'good heavens above' or 'oh, darn it'. I turn the air blue. Ask anyone!
ReplyDeleteSwollen, shiny and collapsed is not a good look for a hand in my opinion. I'd speak severely to it and tell it to shape up ... mind, I haven't actually found that helps much when one's body misbehaves!
I'm joking because I'm trying to make you laugh, not to make light of the mess you find yourself in, you know. I too, am crossing my un-swollen, un-shiny and un-collapsed fingers for you and really do hope the PT can help you.
It's like we're living parallel lives except my series of crap started on June 18th when I tripped over my own shoes and fractured my knee cap, not my hand; then when that was nearly healed, I rotated all of the muscles, tendons, and ligaments in my lower back, not my face; and the demons tried to use our Discover card, not our Amex. Parallel lives, I tell you.
ReplyDeleteSo when I say I feel your pain, I'm not blowing smoke up your skirt. And I assure you that no one says 'Shoot' in these situations and I'm here to tell you the words coming out of my mouth didn't even start with an S. I do hope your physical therapist knows how to help in ways large and small and can work some miracles with that hand.
Oh Cheryl! Damn Girl! I think we both need football pads and helmets! I hope the PT helps too. And I'm so sorry you are so rudely rotated! Oy vey!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jay! You did make me laugh. I'm sort of an optimist and I trust the PT will help. Otherwise, I'll just be another suburban housewife on opiates.
ReplyDeleteDufus, rain, nor snow nor nerve pain is going to spoil the week of the 13th. Alex is even taking off work. (And that's almost unheard of!)
ReplyDeleteThanks Kim! I hope so too!
ReplyDeleteYou are such a sweetheart and always brighten my day!
ReplyDeleteDamn, that week just gets better and better.
ReplyDeleteAt least the cast is off. I don't know anything about nerve damage, but you're not that far from Stanford and I'd think they would be on the cutting edge of all that stuff. UCSF, as well. Sending you lots of love, my friend. (Oh, and I understand morphine goes great with chocolate. Not that I'd know from experience or anything.) :)
ReplyDeleteI know my mom broke her wrist and had nerve damage from the cast. She had a "block" to help with the pain from it. I still think PT might help.
ReplyDelete:)
ReplyDeleteI hope so. Pain is so draining and you're such an up and energetic person.
ReplyDeleteI like opiates. Not to excess, of course, but there aren't many painkillers I can take, so I'm happy that opiates suit me. Of course, the people talking and singing in my ears that nobody else can ear can get a little intrusive at times but it's a small price to pay!
ReplyDeleteAnd we both need spotters to catch us when we're on the way down and before we hit those cold, hard surfaces.
ReplyDeleteJay, you are a bad bad man. I really like that about you.
ReplyDeleteI try to stay optimistic but it can be a challenge some days!
ReplyDeleteI want IN on the week of the 13th whatever it is because if it's keeping you going, I NEED some of that good juju too.
ReplyDeleteCount me in, whatever it is. I need a reason to live.
ReplyDeleteNow you're talking!
ReplyDeleteI think we could too, Paula. It's sad but we'd be in good company!
ReplyDeleteCome on out Cheryl! The more the merrier!
ReplyDeleteMe too, Cheryl!
ReplyDeleteThat's where the chocolate comes in. Forget about the morphine. It's actually a downer.
ReplyDeleteI knew I had Henry wrong as soon as I hit the "reply" button. Thank you so much for your good wishes. This sucks, but it's not how you feel, it's how you look, Paula, and we look marvelous!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm betting on chocolate every time! Thanks, Sweetie!
ReplyDeleteI hope you will still like me when I tell you I'm a woman. Not to worry, a lot of people think I'm a man on the internet - it's when they do it on the phone I get a tad insulted, but my darned underactive thyroid makes me so gravelly in the mornings!
ReplyDeleteOh my word! Poor Linda! I'm so glad you are feeling better and your face, at least, is now as stunning as ever :)
ReplyDeleteJay, I would love you if you were a squirrel. I have a dear friend named Jason who I call Jay, but now that I realize you are a woman, I am very pleased with the "femme" version of the name Jay!
ReplyDeleteI think it should be out near where @Linda Medrano lives. All that slippery stuff out our way terrifies me because I just know I'm headed down at least once a season. #teamklutz!
ReplyDeleteHey Babs! I just wish my hand had healed as well as my face! Hah!
ReplyDeleteI think you and Paula should just move here.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about that. Lets hope they can get that under control, at least.
ReplyDeleteYeah, really. My hand is so swollen it makes my left arm look seriously shrunken. That gave me a panic attack this morning until Alex told me the arm was just small compared to the hand. Yuck!
ReplyDeleteAs long as the nerve damage doesn't prevent you from holding a glass of wine ... that's worth the cost of physio, right? Best wishes for a speedy recovery :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Astra! And thanks to the powers that be for making me right handed!
ReplyDeleteOh my! Give it a bit more time. I'm sure you'll be back to normal soon.
ReplyDeleteThat was a nasty fall. I'm glad you have the cast off and are healing up. I hope the nerve damage is not permanent and can be helped with the therapy.
ReplyDeleteOh Linda, I am so sorry to hear you're in pain! My mother fell and broke her ankle again, a month after she got rid of the cast from the first time she broke it. Surgery, plates and screws and a new cast now. The lesson is to Not Fall Again. Make Alex do the gardening while you sit in a chair and look beautiful and tell him what to do. ;)
ReplyDeleteI hope the PT helps with the pain, honey. *hugs*
Oh Ziva, I'm so sorry about your Mom! What a mess! Tell her to stay indoors until Spring because we don't want her out on that slippery ice!
ReplyDeleteI'll be fine! (Fingers crossed!)
I think the nerve pain may be helped by PT. (I kind of counting on it!)
ReplyDeleteNicest thing anyone's said to me today. I might have to leave himself behind what with his job and all. Hmmm, My doctor would write orders that it's medically necessary for me to live in a sunnier climate & then he could come with me & telecommute. Anyway to convince people that it's actually sunnier there than here?
ReplyDeleteYour accident sounds awful and just like something I'd do. I'm glad you're out of the cast, at least. Here's hoping the pain goes away soon. Also, kudos to AX for catching the credit card purchase so quickly.
ReplyDeleteHow very sweet of you! :)
ReplyDeleteI chose "Jay" as an online persona because the first letter of my real name (Judy) and I often sign emails etc simply with a 'J'. I hadn't realised at the time that "Jay" in the US is almost always a man's name! Oh well, I don't mind, and it's often vaguely amusing!
Jeanie, being a klutz is such a dangerous thing! I HATE it when that happens...
ReplyDeleteI think Jay is a great nickname whether it's for a boy or a girl. I still think you are a bad bad girl and I really still like that about you!
ReplyDeleteCheryl, it's 67 and partly cloudy every day in sunny Northern Cali!
ReplyDeleteWell I'm glad you're back. Not so thrilled about you being in pain, but it's good to see you anyway :)
ReplyDeleteYou know, I really think we are one and the same. I am also a terrible klutz and fall with ridiculous frequency. Poor Max has inherited my grace and balance. I'm glad you're mending and hope the nerve damage will get better with the PT. It's nice to see you back around the Internet... I've missed you!
ReplyDeleteIt's good to be back, Mike. Otherwise, people might think I died.
ReplyDeleteI've missed you too, little princess! Alex and I were looking at the full moon last night and realized we wish we could see Darling Max again (plus, his mama and daddy)! I remember so clearly him calling out to us, "My friends, my friends, look! The moon!" Oh I love that boy!
ReplyDeleteOh man! I hope the therapy helps with the hand. It seems like a lot of people I know have been having card/bank issues lately, including myself! At least they called and checked it out first!
ReplyDeleteNo...shoot isn't strong enough...I think saying 'shit' is in order. Damnation.... all of that sounds awful. I hope the nerve damage mends itself and your hand gets better.
ReplyDeleteI swear that American Express has been hacked. We also had someone using our card buying airplane tickets and trip insurance. Not us. About the same amount of money. Shit.
That credit card thing is scary, B. No kidding. I go to the PT place tomorrow and I hope it helps too!
ReplyDeleteThe thing was, the guy from Am Ex kept asking me "Is the card with you right now?" and it was in my hand. A card had been used with all my info on it in NY. I'm in Cali. Huh?
ReplyDeleteOh shoot - and ouch! And damnation. Your face is looking good, but I am so sorry to hear about your nerve damage!
ReplyDeleteThanks Fi! I'm hoping the PT works some magic. If not, I need to find a Plan B.
ReplyDeleteOh, dear!
ReplyDeleteWell - I am super thrilled you're finally out of that cast. But I'm terribly sorry to hear about the nerve damage. You poor thing!
*I completely sympathize, I have the same in my left hand stemming from my ulnar nerve. PT wasn't very helpful for me - so I hope you have better results! The only medication that works for me has been Neurontin | Gabapentin. But it makes me really tired so I only take it at night.*
Also, I can't believe after all you've been through, your credit card was "cloned" too! Goodness gracious, you can't catch a break!
Oh Baby Girl, it could be worse. I could have broken off my teeth! I could have knocked out an eye. I could have broken my box. (Oh wait, you know all about that!)
ReplyDeleteOh no - how awful!! I don't know how many people before me (besides Meleah) have said "you poor thing", but you poor thing. That sux butt. I do hope you heal more soon and that the PT helps! XOXOXO
ReplyDeleteThe good thing, of course, is that you're better. Sounds like a mighty hard and painful fall. Be careful out in that yard and tell them dogs to put those toys away.
ReplyDeleteIn the south we might say, "Bless your heart". But I prefer the Shakespeare nod of "All's Well that ends Well". Glad you are over the hurdles.
ReplyDeleteRenee, the hand is still vexing me some, being all swole up and all, but the physical therapy may help. Hurts though.
ReplyDeleteI'm just glad to hear you are alive and kicking. From your picture you are just as lovely as always. Just make sure you get a young good looking doctor at the pain clinic - that always helps.
ReplyDeleteAnn, Darling, you are a woman after my own heart!
ReplyDeleteWell. Shoot on the credit card thing. (not what I mean). Hope your hand feels better soon, but I'm going to give you some advice you gave me: don't overdo it too soon!!! (right)
ReplyDeleteIs the physical therapy helping? Although, celebrating your anniversary is better than PT. Again, congratulations!
ReplyDeleteThanks Lauren. My hand is still swollen and painful but my range of motion has improved. I'm hopeful things will improve.
ReplyDelete