Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Falling Down Drunk (Or Not)

In the old days, one time I was a tad tipsy and fell on my ass. I'm not proud of this, but I acknowledge that it happened. My husband and I were walking and I had imbibed quite a few cocktails. Walking along laughing and talking, I found myself on the sidewalk. Oh I thought that was funny! And oddly, I wasn't hurt at all. Even my pride wasn't hurt!

In the last few years, I have taken spills. None of them have been related to drinking, because although I still have a glass of wine or so every day, I certainly don't get to the point where I cannot walk! Unfortunately, I have found myself somewhat injured every damned time I fall stone-cold sober.

A couple of years ago, my family and I were walking to a cafe for breakfast and I hit a slippery place on the sidewalk. One minute I'm there walking and talking, the next I'm laid out on the pavement with blood oozing from my knees.

Before that, I was on my lunch hour and picking up a sandwich to take back to work. Outside the restaurant, there were two rather small PG&E access holes. One was covered with a metal plate, the other was not. It was just large enough for my leg up to my knee to disappear into. (It took a year to recover from this one.)

I also fell a few weeks ago on to what had that day been diagnosed as a "frozen shoulder". The shoulder landing did little to break apart the ice in the shoulder, but I should be grateful it wasn't more serious than it was. Contusions, uh huh. Well, it could have been worse.

I also fell coming home from the dentist. Maybe the novacaine had numbed my brain a little along with my gums. I only suffered bloody scrapes on my hands from this one.

I have come to the conclusion that I do a lot better falling drunk than I do sober. Is there a lesson in all this? Uh, not sure. I mean, I am not a total klutz all the time. In fact, most of the time, I just walk like everyone else.

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