Thursday, March 10, 2011

Beauty Shop Blues

There is not much that scares me as much as a hair cut appointment.

Give me a trip to the dentist and I'm fine. Give me a trip to the doctor and I'll do it without breaking a sweat.

Make me an appointment at a beauty shop for a hair cut and I get high anxiety.

The problem is that if my hair is cut wrong, it's just like having to wear that ugly yellow and lime green polka dot dress that Aunt Berta gave you 20 years ago. You have to wear that ugly dress day and night for at least two months. It wasn't cute 20 years ago and it's even worse now.

I wear my hair short. It could even be called "boy short" or a "crew cut". I had my hair cut one time and I walked out looking like a washed-up country western singer with whoop dee doo's in her hair. I had curls and waves everyplace. I am not a curls and waves kind of woman. (Nor can I carry a tune for that matter.)

I have naturally very straight hair. A very sweet hairdresser convinced me that my hair would look great with a 'body wave'. Uh huh. My hair looked just like Harpo Marx for two months after that one.

Another time, I had a hairdresser who cut a pie wedge shape into the top of my hair. Now I like a piece of pie just as much as the next girl, but not on top of my head. The broad side of the pie was a bangs type thing in front. I was mystified and horrified in equal measures. I had to get used to wearing a baseball cap whenever I walked out of the house for over a month.

My appointment on Tuesday was pretty drama free. My hair looks great. Okay, not great, but short just like I wanted it.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Mexican Women

Camping? Sure if she can wear heels.

Riding a horse? Yeah, if you can do that with heels.

Mexican women tend to wear heels for all occasions. Many of us are not as tall as we would like to be.

Mexican women also like bright shiny earrings that dangle from our ear lobes. We also tend to choose bright colors for our clothing and then put the dresses away because we think we look garish in them.

Mexican women tend to like to cook. We are frequently fairly traditional homemaker-wise. We breast feed our babies, do the dishes, and iron our husband's clothes.

But Mexican women have bad tempers. We are likely to stick you with a knife if you cheat on us. We will then cry and clean up your wound when you swear you'll never do it again.

Mexican women are proud. You won't see us begging for attention. If our boyfriend or husband leaves us, we would never let him have the satisfaction of knowing we were hurt.

Mexican women are fun in bed. We are as likely to laugh as to moan. Mexican women don't take it all that seriously. It's supposed to be fun.

Mexican women are deeply spiritual. We may deny being religious, but watch our faces when the white smoke comes out of the Vatican announcing a new pontiff.