I've been single; I've been married; and I've been divorced. I've been a good girl who made bad choices, and I've been a bad girl who made good choices. That's what this blog is all about.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Tricks For Screwy Teeth
But, there is a trick to use if you ever have the kind of problem I did with my Bugs Bunny temporary veneers.
This trick also works like a charm if you have red or swollen eyes.
Are you ready?
Girls, show some bosoms! Nobody even looks at your teeth or eyes if you are flashing a bit of bosom. This trick is also good for bad hair days, pimples on your nose, or even if you have crossed eyes. Believe me, the guy at the store won't be wondering about the pimple on the end of your nose when you are at the check out counter. He will never notice that your teeth look like those of a seriously deranged rabbit.
My dentist yesterday seemed surprised that I had been concerned and unhappy about my very long, to the right slanted front teeth for 10 days. She said, "I thought they looked fine." (Never trust a dentist to tell you the truth.) The dentist also told me that the porcelain veneers would look perfect. (I didn't trust her with that one either.) Much to my surprise, (and delight), that part was true. They do look fine. The color is perfect as it matches all my natural teeth. One of my fears is that I would have two snowy white chicklets replacing my two front teeth.
I have had a recurring nightmare for years. I'm out somewhere in public and I bite into an apple. My two front teeth come out in the apple. There's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. I'm horrified realizing that my teeth are just "gone". As a result of this dream, I make sure to never eat apples in public, okay I don't eat apples at all now.
Apples are bad in a lot of ways. Look at Adam and Eve. If it hadn't been for an apple, we'd all be running around naked in the Garden of Eden being pain free and happy all the time. This all sounded a bit strange to me actually. If it was true about Adam and Eve and the Snake and the apple, why isn't the first commandment "Thou shalt not eat apples"?
Now all I have to do is pray I don't lose these veneers in my sleep and swallow them. I really can't afford to do that.
Nor can I afford to buy a bunch of new low cut sweaters.
Posted by Linda Medrano at 3:54 PM 29 comments:
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