Thursday, February 14, 2013
Since our marriage in 1989, I have received red roses on Valentine's Day every year from my husband, Alex. I also get a sweet mushy card and give him one as well.
Okay, Alex always gives me a gift on top of the roses and the card. Some years it's a piece of jewelry. Some years it's a nightgown. Some years it's a ticket to the Monterey Aquarium. He's a good husband.
I was talking to a woman I know a while ago who was lamenting how tough it was to find a "good man". She had recently joined Match.com and another dating site and was having no luck at all even after having about 30 "dates" and numerous contacts. This woman was horrified that the men on these sights lie about their height. She is about 5'8" tall and wanted to meet a man who was at least 6' tall.
Now, I completely understand caring a whole lot if a man I met told me he was single and he was lying. I would be horrified if a man told me he was a salesman and neglected to mention that crack cocaine was what he sold. I might even be upset if a man failed to mention that he was actually a little bit pre-op on the female to male sex change operation. But height? Who even asks somebody how tall they are to decide if you want to date them or not.
I know a guy who meets some women on dating sites and he gave me the skinny. If you put that you are 5'6" tall, nobody wants to date you. So, he uses 5'9" on his profile just to keep from being completely ignored. His feeling is that a woman just might like him if she met him and she might not notice the 3" he's adding.
I don't get it. I've been married to two men who were, well, short. Alex is a short guy. I am taller than he is in heels. (I've also been married to tall people because I'm an equal opportunity bride.) Maybe it's just me, but I really don't have rigid rules about who I will be attracted to. (I don't actually "date" now that I'm married, but you get my point.) When I was dating, I dated men who were old, men who were young, men who were fat and men who were skinny. I also dated rich men and poor men and healthy men and sick men. I may or may not have even dated a couple of girls along with the good men and the bad men.
Love is about the person, not the measurement, whether height, weight, salary, or I.Q.
I'm never joining "Match.com".