Saturday, April 30, 2011

Spring Lingerie

I love gorgeous lingerie.

Ever since I was old enough to put girly bits into some, I've loved pretty bras, panties, garter belts, corsets, camisoles, seamed stockings and such. I don't really like Victoria's Secret. I think they use too much polyester and a lot of the merchandise is not really my taste.

I love finding a good lingerie shop where I can find high-quality well made lingerie. "La Perla" is fine, but frankly out of my budget. Still, there are some exquisite small lingerie shops in San Francisco where you can buy beautiful items and get real "help" from the staff.

For many years, I have replenished my unmentionables in the Spring. There's something about the season that makes me crave lacy, silky, and beautiful "stuff" in pretty colors.

The only problem with gorgeous lingerie is that I want to show it to somebody. I have an overwhelming urge to open the door to the UPS guy and let my robe fall open so he can catch a glimpse of my finery. (Okay, I don't do it, but I do think about it. Okay, yeah, I have done it but it was a long time ago. Okay, it was last Spring actually!)

Don't get me wrong. My husband Alex does smile and say "Uhm, pretty, Honey!" and then goes back to the baseball game. Yeah, it's like that after 20 years of wedded bliss.

Men are funny about their own under-garments. I have to go through Alex's underwear and toss the stuff with holes, torn elastic, and so on. I want to make sure that if he does fool around with a chippie, she will know that he already has a wife who takes care of him.

Left to his own devices, the chippie would probably think "Oh you poor man with no woman to look after you!" and make a real effort to alienate his affections.

I wonder what time UPS will be here on Monday!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Harry Thompson's Day Off

We left Harry and Honey home on Easter Sunday while we traveled up to the Sacramento area to see my son and his family.

Harry is Jewish, and he doesn't really care about missing out on Easter since it doesn't include matzo balls. He also takes his guard dog responsibilities fairly seriously and patrols constantly from the time we leave until we return home, only taking short breaks for naps once in a while.

Honey is agnostic and doesn't ever worry about things above her pay grade. She is perfectly content napping in one of her favorite spots, barking at dogs that pass by the window, and just being "chill" until we come back.

We left at noon and didn't arrive home again until after 8 PM. That was a fairly long time to leave them home alone, but I was pretty sure they were fine. I start getting anxiety feelings about the time we need to return home. I always worry that something has gone wrong. (I start to obsess over things like: what if they knocked over the water bowls? What if they got out of the yard? What if a prowler came and Harry ate him? What if they bark constantly the whole time we are gone?)

People tell me I worry too much about things that never happen. I do worry that something might go wrong because it's my nature. I don't like leaving my dogs home alone. Sometimes we will take Harry and Honey with us, but since there were going to be 20+ people for Easter dinner, including 7 children and two resident dogs, I felt it would be a bit much to show up with our dogs.

When we got home, everything looked normal. Harry was a little more hyper than usual, but I figured that was because he missed us. I saw that we had several phone messages and I checked them. One call had come from my next-door neighbor, Mary, and she asked that I call her as soon as we got home.

When I called her, Mary told me that Harry had spent all afternoon outside by himself in the neighborhood. He came to her gate and barked for Dutch and Sansom, her two dogs, to come out and play. Mary let her dogs out and the three of them ran wild in the front yard for a while, then Harry moved on to the next house down the street where there was a barbecue in full swing. The people having the party are Dean and Rene. They greeted Harry like an old friend and he hobnobbed with them and their guests for the rest of the afternoon. Harry was delighted to entertain the children and keep the area clean if food fell on the ground. He's good like that.

Dean said that Harry "zapped" a squirrel in the yard to the amazement of all of the party attendees. It was over in a second and the squirrel party crasher never had a chance.

Harry went back to Mary's and again tried to get Dutch and Sansom to come out and play, but it was getting late so Mary brought Harry home and put him in the back in our yard.

I apologized profusely but Mary said it was no problem at all. Harry had a great day visiting with friends, and keeping down the rodent population. (When I have seen Mary's dogs outside of their yard without an owner, I have always returned them home immediately. I think Mary is more liberal than I am.)

I still have no idea how Harry got out of the backyard. We have a 7 foot iron fence and he didn't jump over it. When I tried to talk to him about danger and responsibility, he just yawned.

He had a great day, but all the barbecue gave him the runs. Serves him right.

Monday, April 25, 2011

People Like Weird Shit

I know some people would think this was a weird oil painting.

I think it's a little eccentric, but very cool. I know the guy who painted it, and I bought it from him directly. Why do I like it? Well, it's not because of the cat.

I like it because it's a self-portrait of a man who sells books in my town. His cat was a fixture for many years at his sort of creepy used book store. The man himself is a little "odd", but I doubt that he's a serial killer or anything. He's just a little off-kilter. Oh, and I like the "Orphan Annie" eyes.

This painting is in my kitchen. It doesn't creep me out at all, but I do think it's funny.

We have fine art too. But whether it's a Marc Chagall signed lithograph or the famous New Orleans "blue dog", it has to speak to me.

Yesterday was Easter and we went to my son's for dinner. His wife Kate put together a lovely meal with bbq leg of lamb along with a lot of other wonderful things to eat. She had small white boxes with tiny chicks on top of them at all the place settings. When people asked her what was inside, she said "It's a secret". She let Alex take home some of the chicks because he really liked them. Kate also gave me a book by a guy from my town. I took a photo of these things because I love what they look like. (Oh, what was in the boxes? It's a secret.)

I have a neighbor lady who collects hand painted antique dolls. She has them piled up on an antique chase in her parlor. Those dolls creep me out so much that I can barely even walk in her house. Those flat eyes scare the hell out of me. There are probably 40 dolls or even more all lined up together. Ugh! That is horror movie shit to me.

I know another woman who had her cat stuffed after he died. She kept him in the bathroom on the toilet tank. This woman worked with me and dressed like a hooker from the 70's. She was not a hooker, but she was probably in her late 30's in the 70's. When I worked with her she was 60 and still dressed like a hooker every day. I thought she was actually pretty cool. Her taste in cat art, not so much though.

It's funny because if I like it, I think it's normal. It's other people who seem to like the weird shit.