Saturday, March 20, 2010

Another Award! Jeeze Louise!

The person who gave me this award is my darling friend Val. She is over at Golden to Silver Val and I found her by magic I think. I needed a level headed, rock star woman of my own generation to hang out with! She's never let me me down, not even once! Thank you Val!

The rules that come with this award are as follows:

1. When you receive this award you must thank the person that awarded you in a new post.

2. Name 10 things that make you happy.

3. Pass this award to other bloggers who make you happy.

Okay, ten things that make me happy!

1. My husband being home, or coming home. He travels too damn much!

2. My dogs, my cat, my fish. Yeah, it's like that!

3. My grandchildren. All six are wonderful, but my first-born, Cyrus, is my best friend too. (At 17, he's still my heart and soul.)

4. Chocolate

5. Makers Mark - If God made a better sipping whiskey, I don't know what it is.

6. My son John and his beautiful wife Kate.

7. My daughter Sheila and her wonderful husband.

8. Pit bulls who are well behaved.

9. German Shepherds.

10. Dogs of indeterminate heritage!

Okay, now to the bloggers who make me happy:

1. Nooter the Dog is the funnest dude in the world. He and Harry are a lot alike but I think Nooter is smarter.

2. Whispering Writer at Airing My Dirty Laundry, One Sock at a time. She's hilarious and has magical children!

3. Oh For Pete's Sake, Absolutely amazing! Love it!

4. Day to Day by Gregory J. This guy is the real deal. Love him to bits!

Val, thank you so much for this awesome award, and for reminding me how many things make me happy!

And The Award Goes To ---

Suzicate at the Water Witch's Daughter gave me this fantastic award this morning! Thank you so much! It was the perfect way to start my day!

Today, by the way, is Persian New Year. So to any of you Persians out there, Happy New Year! My ex husband said once that he loved the Madonna song "Like a Persian" but didn't really understand it, what with being touched for the very first time and all.

I am going to pass this award on to a couple of bloggers who always brighten my day! The first is bestowed on How Much Longer Till Friday. This is a relatively new blog written by a very funny young lady!

The second award is for Dual Mom over at We're at Dad's That Week. Dual Mom finally did it. I lost control of my bladder because I was laughing so hard reading her post this morning. Thanks DM!

The last (but not least) award goes to Mrs.BlogAlot. I adore this writer and she has won every award known to blogger-kind and then some. Still, any award for mischief that did not go to her would not be worth its weight in sugar substitute!

Again, Suzicate, thank you so much!

Friday, March 19, 2010

Friday Confessional

Is it that time already? I've been thinking about whether or not I have anything to confess this week and decided I would do this even if the answer is "no"!

I like going to the Glamazon site so much that I feel that I have to participate in the program for my own good.

Sin Number One: I didn't get up with hubby at 4:30 AM before he left to go to the East Coast. Make his coffee? Make his breakfast? Uh, that'd be a NO since it's the middle of the freaking night.

Sin Number Two: I told someone "the check's in the mail" and it isn't. This is for no reason except I don't feel like writing it yet. So, yeah, I lied.

Sin Number Three: I told Susan, my hairdresser, that I would stand outside of her shop and tell everybody who walks by "Look what Susan did to me" if she wouldn't open her shop on Monday, her day off, and do my hair. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Sin Number Four: I used to call my grandkids "no-necks", but fortunately, now they have necks. (Most of them anyway.)

Sin Number Five: I told a friend I really want to have lunch with her, but I don't. I lied and said I have to stay home because I'm expecting a package. I like her fine, but until I get my hairdo sorted out, I'm not going out.

Sin Number Six: I told my daughter not to take a cake making class because it would be asking for trouble. That hurt her feelings but it's true.

Lost Talents and Lumpy Coffee

If there is anything simpler than making a cup of coffee, I am not sure what it would be. I prefer Starbucks to other brands, and French Roast is my top choice.

I have always made a strong cup of coffee because Alex and I like strong coffee. It may be too strong for some, but I've always used cream and sugar in mine anyway.

Over the last couple of months, I have asked Alex to make our coffee. He prepares it in our Krups coffee pot and his coffee turns out perfect. Mine, over the last couple of months, has turned out okay, but not really great.

Now, what does this have to do with me having a fat ass? Okay, I've tried cutting calories and going on a diet. It's not working. So I decided to just start small, baby steps if you will, to see if I can lose a bit. I really only need to take off about 10 pounds, so little changes might do it, right? First off, I'm only eating sandwiches with one piece of bread. (Bread is my real downfall.) I also decided that the cream and sugar in my coffee is not necessary. Baby steps, right?

My husband left earlier in the week for another trip, so I'm left to my own coffee which is not the greatest, but never mind. I poured my cup of black coffee this morning and took a sip. My coffee was lumpy. Now how in the hell did I make lumpy coffee? I think even the words "lumpy coffee" make me want to gag.

I tried to drink a little more of the cup of coffee, but found it was lumpy all the way through. Oh I couldn't see the lumps, but I could feel them in my mouth. Yuck!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Acts of Kindness Coupled With Creative Genius

This is really not about my dog. I don't want people to say "oh, she just writes about her dumb dogs". This is about the nicest thing that has happened to me in quite a while.

Lee, AKA Token, is a really interesting and smart lady living in Kentucky in her Victorian cottage. She has a husband, dogs, and a cat, as well as a son (who comes back and forth like kids do).

Token makes these really special little films on her blog and sets them to music. For some reason, these little films are almost hypnotic to me. It's watching her beautiful Lily, lovely Grace, and darling Mini play. This is just simple everyday stuff, but Token turns it into magic.

Yesterday, Alex made a little video of Harry going into a very narrow space out in our yard. Harry chases "critters" into that space, but because it's so narrow, he can't get back out without doing a backflip to turn around. Okay, when I put the little clip on the computer, it came out sideways, or horizontal rather than vertical. Hmm.

I thought it was funny because when I've commented on the charm and beauty of Ms. Token's films, she always says very modestly that she's just okay, not great. I thought I would show her what really "does not have a clue" looks like so I emailed her the little video.

This morning I had an email from Token with an attachment. She set the video to music, added a title "Harry Flips Out" and commentary. It's perfect and vertical now! She's smart! And oh how nice!Thank you from the bottom of my heart! You just made my day!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Depression and the Art of Denial

I have had some issues with depression since I was in my 20's. This overwhelming "gloom" would come over me, making it very difficult to function. Some of this was situational, but some of it wasn't.

My mother had episodes of depression most of her life. But unlike my mom, I really tried to shield my children from mine. "Mom's fine. She will get out of bed next week! I promise!"

I finally talked to a doctor about how I was feeling, and she proscribed something called "Elavil" a mood elevator! I guess my mood did improve but for the first two weeks I felt like a true life member of "Night of the Living Dead". I was feeling numb and very thick, and I walked along doing what I can only compare to the "Thorazine shuffle".

I did acclimate to the Elavil after a couple of weeks, and then after about 6 months, I stopped taking it. I was fine! Until a few years later when I wasn't "fine" again. This time, and with a new doctor, it was felt that rather than depression, my primary problem was anxiety. I was given a course of Valium.

Yikes! Now this stuff I liked! It took the edge off of everything. I was so laid back I could have passed for a hippie stoner! It was fun for a little while, and then I realized that I could become an addict to this and I'd better quit taking it.

Years passed and I was fine again. Until 4 years ago, when I lost my precious cocker spaniel and my Mom within weeks of each other. I sort of hit bottom and I could not get out of bed for over a week. I did get out of bed, finally, and went to the doctor where I was proscribed something called Zoloft.

Now Zoloft does not not really feel like much of anything to me and it never has. I'm taking it, but I don't really "feel" any different. (I'm afraid to stop taking it, because if it is making me feel "better", God knows, I don't want to experience what it would be to feel "worse"!) I mean, I feel "okay", but is that because of the pill, or is it because I'm okay?

I guess I have to wonder, is this stuff "situational", "heredity" or what? It doesn't really matter, whatever it is, it sucks! Maybe I'll just go back to Valium. (Yeah, it was that good! LOL!) Naw, the Betty Ford would be just too nerve racking with my anxiety issues!

Hump Day With Harry

The Thing About Jobs

This is a picher of me and Lola. I am doing my job. I do have to werk for the kibble and snaks you know. This job is called "guarding the perimeter" and Dad says it's important.

Lola just wants to play but as you can see, I'm busy doing my job.

I have another job too. My Mom works on the computer all day, and she is right handed. I keep Mom from having carpull tunnell syndrom by pushing her right hand up under my head whenever I think she might be getting tired. This is an important job. Mom sometimes tell me to just "scoot" but then she gets mad if I scoot on the oriental rug.

My other job is to keep squirrels out of my yard. If I let them come in my yard, then they will be coming in my house next. I have one more job too, but because I have ADD, I can't remember it right now.

I have a good friend named Nooter The Dog and I asked him a bunch of kwestions this week and he knows all the ansers. Mom says he needs to take the SATs for one of her family members.

Oh now I remember. My other job is to do something called KP. When Honey gets threw eating I am supposed to go lick her bowl clean. That is my funnest job. Mom always makes us organic chicken and organic brown rice to mix with our kibble. She gives us our food with something Dad calls "Awww Jew". That stuff makes it into gravy. There is always some awww jew left in the bowl.

Mom says that being Jewish is a religion. I understand that but I dont' know why my dad calls that wonderful gravy awww jew. I think I will have to change my religion (pound dog) to awww jew because it sounds like a better religion to me.

If you have any qwestions about anything in your life, go talk to Nooter. He is the smartest dog in the world.

This is the part when I need to thank my Mom for letting me be a "guest blogger". Since she loves you guys, I do too.

Chasing Tail

Harry likes to chase his tail. Honey does not. What does this tell you?

Getting back to stalking a boy when I was 13, I made the biggest mistake a girl can make. I chased him. Oh maybe I was subtle about it (NOT), but I was chasing him. This was a mistake.

(My second mistake might have been that since I was in love with Elvis Presley, I should have waited for Elvis Presley. It turns out that at 13, I was not too young for the king after all.)

After the age of 13, I realized one really important thing. Males really like to chase females. It's an important part of the ritual to them. And, sadly, the more they have to chase, the more valuable she becomes in his eyes.

When my darling husband and I were first together romantically, he indeed did have to chase me. I had rules that had to be followed. Rather than responding with a "to hell with her", he liked pursuing me.

If Alex called me and then proceeded to have conversations with a roommate while he was on the phone with me, I would say sweetly, "Oh you're busy! Later, Honey," and hang up. Count to ten and Alex was back on the line, giving me his undivided attention.

Although Alex was a "poor sailor" when we were first together, he always paid for movies, dinner, drinks, and so on if we went out. In return, I cooked for him many times or just entertained him at home. But, if we went out, it was on his dime. Why? Because he needed to feel like the aggressor in the relationship.

The few times I allowed myself the occasion of "giving it up way too soon", it came back to bite me in the butt. Men figure that if it's too easy, it's not worth much. Just like Harry, men like to chase tail!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Stalking Richard Banks

I turned 13 in January of the 8th grade.

My mother forced me to throw away my red hooded sweatshirt that had been my primary central wardrobe piece for the last four years. Reluctantly, I agreed. She also made me throw out my pink flowered pedal pushers that I had worn with that red hooded sweatshirt because they were stained, holey, and a tad too small.

She bought me a tube of lipstick, the color was "Persian Melon" and I started wearing a little of it when I was 13. There was a boy in my class named Richard Banks. Although I didn't "love" Richard, I did think he would make a great boyfriend for me. (I "loved" Elvis Presley and would have married him immediately if he had asked but as luck would have it, he didn't.)

Back to Richard Banks. He had curly hair and he was tall for a kid his age. Oh, and he had a German Shepherd dog who he walked around the neighborhood every day.

Being a smart cookie (even at 13) I realized that the indirect approach might work the best. For the next six months, I stalked Richard Banks. Every place he went, I showed up. I ignored him completely of course, but I was everywhere he looked. This took some doing, I'll tell you.

Walking past his house 15 or 20 times a day worked pretty well so I could figure out Richard's schedule. To change things up a bit, sometimes I rode my bike. Most of the time, I did this alone, but I preferred to do it with a friend so we could laugh and screech loudly at each other outside his house. (See, that was to show Richard what a fun girl I was.)

It was the last week of school. I was beginning to realize that if I wanted to make something happen with Richard, I was running out of time. I planted myself outside his house and waited until he walked out with his dog. Being quite clever even then, I said something exceptionally witty, "I like your dog." Richard mumbled "Thanks." Actually, I was terrified of his dog, but sometimes you got to do what you've got to do.

I reached my hand out and patted the German Shepherd on his big head. He sniffed my crotch. I came up with another great line of dialog "Where are you going?" Richard said he was walking down to 87th Street. I said "Great! That's where I'm going!" and walked along beside him.

We did talk a little bit about school and going to high school the next year. Or, mainly I talked. We got to my house and I said "Okay, see ya!" And Richard replied "Okay". I took that to mean that he probably liked me a lot.

So I went back the next day to wait for him to come out with his dog. He came out by himself and said "Do you want to come in?" Did I? Did I? Well, of course I did! He was watching tv and the dog was sitting in front of him. I sat down next to him and hoped he couldn't hear my heart pounding.

Richard put his arm around my shoulder! I thought I would faint. Then he leaned in and kissed me on the lips with his closed lips. We sat like that for about two minutes and then broke apart. I said, "Uh, well, I have to go home now." Richard replied "Okay." As I walked home, I had to shake my head. That was just not what I expected from romance at all!

Richard started walking past my house every day after that, but I never went outside when he was there.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Can You Spot The Navajo In the Bushes?

So could the guy from Idaho who saw Alex in HIS car at the Atlanta airport car rental lot.

Mr. Idaho and his two ladies approached the car with extreme caution. They all walked up to the car where Alex was trying to set up his GPS, his iphone, and his other gear before he took off from the car rental parking lot.

Alex looked up and saw two women slowly backing away from the car, but the man cautiously approached the car. Alex rolled down the window and said "hello". The man from Idaho said, "we're here for our car now."

Alex was a touch confused. The Idaho guy said that he assumed Alex was warming up the car for him. (Is that how they do it in Idaho?) Alex turned the car off, and got out, saying "I'm so sorry. I think this is the car they gave me." The Idaho man looked at his ticket as well, and he and Alex realized they had been given the same vehicle.

At this point, the women were relieved and relaxed their stiff stances! (Maybe Alex was one of those "car jackers" you hear so much about in Idaho!) The decision was made to go to the office to have this straightened out.

The man from Idaho turned in the direction of the main office, quite a distance from the car lot and started walking. Since Alex is a member of the "preferred clients" for the rental firm (and is there so often he gets invited to kids birthday parties of the employees), he said, "why don't we just go here?" pointing to the "You are the rock stars of the car rental client gang!" sign and section about 20 feet away.

They walked in and told the car rental lady that the same car had been given to two clients. Alex added that he had already put his "stuff" in the car. Being a rock star client, the woman assured Alex that the car was indeed his, and that Mr. Idaho and his party would be given another car.

Alex called me snorkling with laughter because the guy thought he was the one hired to "warm up the cars" for the real clients! Oh my goodness! I can always spot the Navajo in the bushes, but not always at the car rental place!

Little Miss Sunshine, That's Me!

I was having a bad morning.

My husband just got home from Georgia on Friday evening. Five minutes after he walked in the house, he gets a message to go back to Georgia on Sunday morning. HFMB! If I every heard of something more stupid, I don't know what it is.

You have the man there in Georgia. If you need him back on Sunday, tell him to STAY right there in Georgia. I really don't understand the logic of this at all. (I guess that's why I'm not a highly paid executive.)

Anyway, I'm pissed that we don't even have a weekend. Again!

So, I got up way way too early with the time change to see him off. (Naw, I'm lying. Lazy bitch that I am, I stayed in bed, rolled over to kiss him goodbye and then went back to sleep. Really, why should both of us suffer?)

So I came downstairs at my regular civilized time of 9:00 AM and got my coffee. The sun was shining and I came into the office to catch up with what's going on in the world, (okay, the blogs), and email. When I went to Suzicate's "Water Witch's Daughter" blog and found that she gave me a Sunshine Award.

Now if there is anything I like better than an award, I don't know what it would be! (Oh, there is one thing: having my husband home for the weekend.)

I want to give this award to the following bloggers who have brightened my day on many occasions:

Nooter the dog - I don't always "get" everything he says but Harry does and it makes him snort!

The Fat Lady at the Gym - who does some amazing things with film and music and her 3 gorgeous dogs, Lily, Mini, and Grace.

2010 - The Year of Miracles - Kathee, who occasionally confounds me but always entertains me!