Thursday, February 4, 2010
Feel Free To "Bring Someone"
I used to hear those words from my Mother at least twice a year, but always for the Christmas Eve party she had at her home. Now don't get me wrong, it was nice of her to mention. The only problem was since I was 24, divorced with two kids, and not in a relationship, just who did she think I was going to bring?
Mom knew that I was not in a relationship. She spoke with me every day and every evening too. Since our conversations usually went something like this. Mom, "What are you doing?" Me, "Working", or "Feeding the kids", I can't help but wonder where she thought this guy was that I was hiding from her.
Okay, I began to get nervous around Thanksgiving. Trying to find a guy to date for a month who would be suitably smitten with me that he would want to spend Christmas Eve with me and my family was a lot to ask for. My "dates" were frequently guys who would ask me out, and I would reply "Oh that sounds nice, but I've got the kids." Most of the time, the guy would then suggest that he pick up a bottle of wine and we could order a pizza. Sure, fine.
I'm sure I don't have to tell you how these evenings frequently turned out. That was okay but it did not lead to the kind of relationship required for escorting me and my kids to Mom's for Christmas Eve.
Fortunately, after about 4 years of humiliation about not having a "date" for Christmas, I met Charles. Charles was a delightful gay guy who was not "out" to his family. So for the next three years, he was my Christmas Eve boyfriend and in return I was his Christmas Day girlfriend. It all worked out fine.
If I ask you to my house, I will not tell you to "feel free to bring someone".