Amazing Grace Used To Be My Middle Name

This is a photo of my new Summit refrigerator.  It's pretty sleek.  I like it and I'm very glad it's now gracing my kitchen.

I had some trepidation over this purchase as I did not receive the refrigerator until 25 days after I had ordered and paid for it. 

I made numerous attempts to find out where it was, had it shipped, etc., but was told over and over again, "It's gonna ship tomorrow."  Three times I tried to cancel the order in frustration.  The seller ignored my cancellation request and told me, "It's gonna ship tomorrow."

I think having nerve damage in my hand has caused me to have less patience than I used to have.  I was seriously angry over this delay, but then a lot of things have been delayed a bit recently.

I ordered a gorgeous kitchen island from Williams Sonoma.  I got an email yesterday saying the island had been delayed and would not ship until the week of December 2nd.  I was expecting it in mid-October.

My contractor told us last week that he couldn't start work on our projects until October.  We are putting in new granite counter-tops in the kitchen and having it repainted.  I've chosen a lovely paint color called "Chai Latte" for the walls, and "Princess Ivory" for the trim and cabinets.  I'm sick of the avocado walls.  I'm trying to figure out how to get a copper back-splash but I'm not really well versed on what that entails.  Baby steps.

Fortunately, we did get hardwood floors put in the kitchen a couple of weeks ago, but so far, that's the only thing that has happened on time.

We are scheduled to have the exterior of our house painted on October 1st.  (The painting contractor has already told us, that's going to be "put out a bit" because of over-scheduling on his part.)  Uh huh.  Well, what else can go wrong? 

Meanwhile, hand is still giving me fits.  I do think the physical therapy thing will help, but I'm beginning to worry that I'll never go back to "normal".  The pain is really strange and it's getting really boring.  I have sharp pains that make me squeal when I move my fingers, sudden itching that feels like my hand is stuck in some poison oak, and hot throbbing.  All that sounds a bit sexy I know, but it's really not.

Maybe I'll start taking those morphine milkshakes after all. 

The Good, The Bad, And The Damn It!

It all began on July 25th.  I was doing some gardening and tripped over a dog toy which sent me crashing face first into concrete.

As I thought to myself "Self, you've really done it this time", I realized that my left hand was turned in a really weird and painful way!  Shoot!  (Yeah, that's not the word I used.)  I got to my feet and stumbled into the house and looked in the mirror.  Shoot!  (Again, that's not the word I used!)  My nose was bloody and shoved to the side, my mouth was bleeding from where my front teeth had cut into my lip, and my eyes were rapidly turning black.  Oh shoot!  (Right!)

I called my doting husband and asked him to come home and take me to the ER.  I stuck ice packs on my face and hand and spent the time hoping for the best.

The hospital asked me if I was a victim of domestic violence, and I assured them that I was merely a victim of clumsiness and stupidity.  My face would heal, I was assured, but my hand was fractured.  Shoot!  (Damnation!)

Being a vain bitch, the face sort of bothered me.  It did look like I had been busted in the mouth and nose by an abusive lover.  (Most of my lovers would have hesitated to hit me because I am actually a good shot.)

After 5 weeks in a cast, I was actually beginning to feel more pain, not less, in my hand.  I visited the doctor yesterday who told me that while my bones had healed, I now had nerve damage in my hand that was causing the swelling and pain.  Oh shoot!  I'm set up with a physical therapist on Friday so I'm counting on that helping.  My hand looks sort of like a monster movie, all swollen and shiny and collapsed in certain areas.  The doctor told me he could recommend me to a pain clinic, but I really don't want to go around sticking morphine patches on myself for the rest of my life so I'll wait a while for that.

Now, what really pisses me off is that I got a call from American Express this morning asking me if I had made a $300 purchase at a supermarket in New York within the last hour.  I assured the agent that I had not.  Apparently, my credit card had been "cloned" and used today.  Fortunately, we may have caught it before any real damage was done.  Shit!  That's good news!  (Yeah, I mean "Shoot"!)

Bones and Bewildement

About 3 weeks ago, I fell face first on to concrete while working in the garden.

My split lip and puffed nose and black eyes have healed up pretty much.  My fractured metacarpal bones in my hand will take longer.

Using a keyboard with one hand is very hard for me.  As soon as this gets better I will be back to explain how it all happened, and the things I have learned since my accident.

Yes bras can be put on with one hand if you slide them up already fastened over your feet and up your legs.  The only problem I can see is that if my butt gets any bigger at all, this will not be an option.

Woe is me!  But I will be back!

But What Do You DO All Day?

I admit it.  I'm lazy.

Now I'm not always lazy.  People who know me know that my house is always pretty presentable.

My husband and I very seldom have to turn our underwear inside out because I neglected to do laundry.

My yard is pretty well-tended.  And I am a fairly decent cook.  I also make time for quality time with my dogs.  They are both walked, played with, bathed and brushed regularly.

Sheets are changed on all four beds once a week.  I keep up on current events, have lunch with friends, and follow my favorite sports teams. 

On a more personal level, I have my hair cut once a month and get manicures and pedicures weekly.  I enjoy long bubble baths daily.  I also do a little shopping from time to time.  And I attend mass regularly.  (Okay, that's a lie.  I just wanted to see if you were paying attention.)

I take care of my husband's clothing.  I plan meals.  I rearrange furniture.  I visit with neighbors.  I talk on the phone, listen to music,  and spend time on the internet.  I peruse ebay for "deals" and craig's list for "chance encounters". 

Late afternoons, I tend to sit in my kitchen with my feet propped up and either watch television or read.  This gives me an hour or two of "me" time every day. Sometimes I watch CNN, but sometimes I watch reality shows.  I seldom concentrate on either, but it's background noise and I find it relaxes me. 

When Alex gets home from work, it's back to the treadmill.  Feed the dogs.  Walk the dogs.  Fix dinner, do dishes, discuss our respective days.

Alex asked me one time "Why don't you go and work with deaf kids or something?"  (Yes, from the film "Scarface".) 

No wonder I feel tired.

The Problem With Profiling

White men have sexually harassed me on public transportation.  Most of these men have been fairly young.  More than one young white male has rubbed his erect penis against me on crowded buses.  Twice, white men have exposed themselves to me. Still I do not expect that all young white men are going to sexually assault me.

We know that people from the Middle East have committed terrorist acts.  So have people from all parts of the world including Europe and the United States. I know a lot of people from the Middle East and I can assure you that they are not terrorists.

Young black men do commit crimes.  (Men, young and old, and of every race commit crimes.  So do women.)  But I really don't believe that most people are criminals.

I know some gay people are pedophiles.  It happens in the straight community as well.  I had many straight men behave inappropriately with me when I was under 18.  I never had a gay woman behave inappropriately with me when I was a teen.

Some Mexicans are here in the US illegally.  Some are also criminals.  Most Mexicans are here in the US quite legally and are not criminals.

My black gay girlfriend was talking to another friend of mine, a Mexican contractor, this week.  They were both carrying on about Chinese landlords and how terrible they are.  I have had Chinese landlords and found them to be just fine.  (Alex and I would not have been able to buy our first house if our wonderful Chinese landlord hadn't helped us by loaning us money for the down payment.) 

I think listening to my friends talk about how tight with money, what bad drivers, how superstitious Chinese people are really made me think.  Here are two people, a black gay woman, and a young Mexican man and I would figure that they would both realize how wrong and ridiculous profiling is.  Obviously, I expect too much.

Profiling is wrong and dangerous.  Someone innocent could end up dead.  Wait.  Someone innocent did end up dead.

This Is So Not My Happy Face!

You do not want to see this expression on my face.

What follows can be really ugly.  I don't "lose it" very often, but when I do, it is far from pretty.

Even my dog, Crazy Zoe, knows to cower if she sees me giving her this face.  She instantly drops to the ground and quivers.

See that solemn expression can turn ugly in a heart beat.  When it turns ugly, man and beast better grab their shit and run.  You can generally tell I'm not happy when my lip starts to curl up and my eyes get hinky.

On Sunday night, we took Ziva and M back to their hotel in San Francisco after dinner.  I had pushed a large bag of plums into their hands as they were leaving our house.  In San Francisco, Alex parked in front of their hotel and we all got out of the car to say our goodbyes.

I was hugging Ziva and on the verge of tears because she was leaving.  A big stoned and dirty homeless man was bothering Alex and M.  I saw Alex put some change in his cup.  The homeless guy was being obnoxious and telling M to "Give me some of them plums."  I really didn't want that man to touch any of us or our belongings.  I took the bag of plums from M, opened it, and took out one plum.  I gave it to the homeless man who immediately shouted "Naw, I want two plums."

A slight explosion went off in my head.  I was going to cause great bodily harm to this belligerent son of a bitch if he didn't get the hell away from us right that moment.  I saw Alex get really tense out of the corner of my eye.  I saw Ziva look a little nervous too.  I was ready to go all  ghetto on this man.  I was within two seconds of taking off my stiletto and shoving the heel up the guy's ass.

San Francisco has more than its share of homeless.  Most of the people are polite in their requests for some help.  I usually dig in my purse for change or for a dollar.  I have given a lot of money to homeless people over the years.  Sometimes I smile vaguely and say "sorry" as I walk on past.  Most of the homeless population are polite even if I don't "help them out".  They tell me to have a nice day or say "God bless you." and as far as I'm concerned, that's fine.

But having some angry jacked up mofo trying to scare and intimidate young visitors sent me into a rage.  I shook with anger half the way home.  I'm very glad I didn't have some kind of a weapon because I would have sprayed pepper spray in that dude's face so fast it would have made his head spin.

I love San Francisco.  I hate seeing people foul the City's image and reputation.  If this was an isolated case it wouldn't have made me so angry, but it happens all the time.  The City needs to take a close look at how detrimental the "tolerant" policy can be when it comes to aggressive panhandlers.

Fortunately, the homeless man was not so far gone that he ignored the warning I gave him.  He moved on.  Good thing too.  I was ready to puncture him with my stiletto shoe.

The Blue Glass Box

As the crow flies, she traveled about 5,363 miles to get here.  Of course, we all know that airline travel is never really "as the crow flies".

The trip from Turku, Finland to San Francisco, California took almost 24 hours.  

I met Ziva several years ago when I discovered her blog, "Ziva's Inferno". I was dazzled by her intellect and her writing talent.  Ziva has almost a magical quality to her rhetoric as well as a wicked sense of humor.  She's sophisticated, witty, and sometimes a little bit naughty.  What's not to like!

I knew Ziva's (then) partner "M" traveled to the US on business once in a while, and I begged Ziva to make the trip with him.

I was thrilled and shocked when I got an email from Ziva saying she would be in San Francisco a couple of days ago.  We set a date for Sunday evening to have dinner.  Alex and I both decided to bring Ziva and M here to our home, rather than just meeting them in the City at a Bistro.  (When I'm traveling, I get very tired of dining out and long for something "home cooked".)  Alex decided he would make his famous Shrimp Creole for dinner and I would contribute a wilted spinach salad.  (And, of course, chocolate torte for dessert!)

We drove to the City to pick Ziva and M up at their downtown hotel.  They were waiting for us out front when we arrived.  I was thrilled to finally meet this gorgeous young woman and her now husband M.  By the way, they are both exquisitely beautiful and they make a perfect couple!  M is auburn haired with sparkly eyes and a wonderful smile.  Ziva has almost waist -ength shiny tresses and looks like a movie star with a smile that makes your heart lurch!  Wow! 

Before I met Ziva, I never really thought about Finland one way or the other.  Now I'm wondering how soon I could get there!  We had a fantastic evening and the dinner was lovely.  I was delighted that both Ziva and M are 'dog friendly' and Zoe had an almost pathological penchant for Ziva.  We had to push Zoe away several times to keep her from showing so much sloppy affection to Ziva.

Unfortunately, the evening had to come to a close much too early.  Alex had to work this morning so we took Ziva and M back to their hotel about 9:30 so that Alex could get some sleep.  Before they left, Ziva gave me a gorgeous blue glass box.  It really is a special piece.  I knew immediately that I wanted to put my pearls in that gorgeous blue box.  Now I have one place to go for two of my most precious "things".

Not to be remiss, I must add that Ziva and M also brought us little boxes of wonderful Finnish candy.  Now, I had heard from a number of well respected sources that this Fin candy was "different".  I actually liked it!

After leaving the couple off at their hotel, I had tears in my eyes.  I hate it when people I love leave me.  I know they'll be back one day, but it hurts none the less.  We had given M a bobble head doll of Ryan Vogelsong (a San Francisco Giant's pitcher), and a big plastic bag of plums that had just been picked off our plum tree.  I wish I could have given them the ability to stay with us for a longer time.

Alas, with Ziva, a longer time would never be enough.  She's the kind of girl you can never let go of completely.  The glow of her is still in my heart and always will be.