Thursday, August 25, 2011

The Lady With The Crack Ho Hair

First of all, I'm not wearing pajamas.

My husband is leaving me for more than a month. Because I'm not going to get dressed or comb my hair, or even leave the house the entire time he's gone, I thought I'd get started with the hair right now.

Alex will be on the other side of the world. I don't want him to get homesick and be missing me too much. So I thought I'd give him reason to be glad he's looking at nicely turned out foreign women rather than his wife with the crack ho hair.

I'm also wearing sort of an ugly "outfit" on purpose. I have cute outfits, but I'm not going to wear them before he leaves. See this way, he can go to my blog and not feel very sorry that he's away from his pitiful wife in the tacky polyester clothes with the crack ho hair.

He will probably go to nudie bars in foreign countries and drink beer. I don't care. Alex may even join good looking foreign women for drinks or even meals. See I'm not the jealous type. I don't care.

I'm not cooking another meal before he leaves either. I don't want him missing my home cooking. This will undoubtedly piss Alex off a little but I don't care. It's for his own good. He won't be thinking of that wonderful Marsala with the noodles. He won't be missing my Vietnamese pork chops with the jasmine rice and shredded carrot and apple salad. He won't be missing the homemade raviolis. He'll be very happy with the meals he gets at the 5 star restaurants he frequents. I don't care.

I'm always thinking of Alex's well being. Now is that a good wife or what!

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