Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Husbands, Lovers, and Poor Sailors
I was 40.
I had some ex-husbands from those previous years and I wasn't really in the market for another one. My girlfriends who were about the same age and single were looking hard for "the one". I was more inclined to meet my considerable "right now" needs and not looking for the long term at all.
My friends had a whole list of requirements that "the one" would have to possess. He would have to be tall, have at least a 6 figure income, have no children under 18, be educated and handsome and of course, kind and generous. Hmm. In our teens and twenties, we had no such requirements.
I met a young sailor the night before he was leaving on a 6 month Navy cruise. He and I talked the evening away. Alex was 25 and had another two years in the Navy. He was Navajo, short, and completely delightful.
We wrote for the next six months and became close friends. He and I spoke by telephone when he got back to shore. After a couple of years, Alex and his friend Todd came up to San Francisco for a visit. We had a fantastic time showing them the City.
Several weeks later, Alex came back by himself. We married a year later. My friends were horrified! What was I thinking marrying a poor sailor so much younger than me! Was I insane? Uh, no, I was in love.
My poor sailor worked as an aircraft mechanic and went to college at night and got a degree in computer science. My poor sailor today has an income that is about 5 times what I ever earned. We have a great life! He's my best friend and my lover and the person I trust most in the world.
My girlfriends are still waiting for their 6'2", wealthy, intelligent, kind and generous "the one". I'll settle for my short poor sailor!