If you steal from me, I'll forgive you. If you cheat me, I'll probably forgive you (but I won't forget). If you hit me, I'll probably not be your friend any more. If you kick my dog, well, you really don't want to go there.
The only time I have felt true blood lust is when I have been sleep deprived. I feel a slathering beast within myself saying "KILL KILL KILL".
Now, when I was younger, I was much more tolerant and I have two un-maimed, alive, and healthy adult children to prove it. For the last twenty years or so, I have lost most of my tolerance for being awakened for no good reason. Okay, I'm lying. Even if there is a good reason, don't wake me.
Several years ago, I was staying at my mom's because she had surgery on her wrist. I was going to sleep on the torture rack sofa in her small one bedroom apartment in a senior housing development located about an hour from my home. My husband and I had gotten her to the surgery center at 4 AM, for her surgery. She was released to go home about 6 PM that evening. (Point being, it had been a long day.)
We got mom to her apartment and Alex left as there really was no place to sleep except the torture rack. I got her settled into bed with a dinner tray and the television on. Right after dinner, she started saying that the pain was horrid so I called her doctor. He ordered her a stronger medication, and I walked the 6 blocks to the pharmacy to get her pills. By this time, it was nearly 10 PM. I was getting shaking tired.
I finally drugged mom, and lay down on the couch. I was just getting that wonderful tingly feeling that comes over me when I'm just about to fall asleep. The overhead light came on and mom is searching for papers on the coffee table next to where I am trying to sleep. My mother is talking to me too. Prattling about something she had seen on television. I was fighting hard not to strangle her.
She went back to bed for about 15 minutes and came back in. Same scenario. My heart was racing and I truly thought about committing a capital crime. Somehow, we both made it through the night alive. I'm sure she never knew how close she came to getting murdered.
My husband Alex sets his alarm for 5:45 AM. The alarm rings every morning and he hits the snooze button, not once, not twice, but 4 or 5 times. By that time, I am awake. I do not need to get up at 5:45 in the morning. I much prefer to sleep until 9 AM and he knows this. But that frigging alarm thing makes me see images of him in a coffin and feel like that's a happy solution for me.
Is it too much to ask to let me sleep?
Regardless of how cranky you can be when sleep deprived, I think you are a beautiful blogger, and
ReplyDeletehere is the proof.
Oh Greg (I mean Hammer), how sweet! Now I just have to figure out what the hell it is I have to do and I'm so bad with details it scares me.
ReplyDeleteOMG! You must be living my life in an alternate universe. I have the same problem with my hubby. His alarm goes off half a dozen times starting at 4:30. I often have images of hurting him for it as well. Have a nice glass of wine and drink a toast with me: here's to getting a good night's rest, for both of us! (and maybe even for hubbies finding the hamper and actually putting their dirty clothes in it.)
ReplyDeleteBridget, we may well be married to twins. They don't look alike, but...
ReplyDeleteOne of the good things about living alone is you don't have to be awakened by somebody else's alarm. And lucky for me, the Wonder Dog has a bladder of steel, so he no longer wakes me up in the middle of the night to go outside.... otherwise I'm not sure he would have made it this long.
ReplyDeletePaula, I have no problems with Harry or Honey. My cat, Smokey, is about 16 and slightly senile. He jumps on my belly with all fours at least once a night and yowls in my face. (Smokey does not understand when I talk to him about "catocide".
ReplyDeleteDoes Alex have a 6ft 6inch African-American brother named Brad? I think they must be twins seperated at birth. I also think you deserve an award for not committing patricide. You did good.
ReplyDeleteActually, he has a 5'1" Lesbian African Amarican twin Sister who is also my best frend and and she could be the link to Brad (except we both know Brad ain't gay!) CT and Alex were born on the same day, She in Texas, Alex in California. Oh, and she's about 10 years older. When I introduce her as my husband's twin, folks are really sure how this occured.
ReplyDeleteDarling Linda, I'm like that too, do NOT wake me up when I'm sleeping especially when I haven't slept for hours on end... I admire your patience with your mum, I'd be screaming my head out by the second time if I was you... (yeah, I can be a bad person some times...). I absolutelly hate alarm clocks, never had one in my life! xxxx
ReplyDeleteGabby, you really couldn't scream at my poor Mother! But I really did think about strangling her. If Alex would get up when the alarm rang the first time, he would perhaps live a longer life. LOL
ReplyDelete