Thursday, June 3, 2010

My Total Bitchification

She looks how I feel.

Did you ever have one of those days? Can't quite put your finger on what's wrong, but something is. And you are mad.

I woke up surly. At 8 AM, even my hair was surly. Well, shit.

My usually adorable and well mannered dogs, Harry and Honey have been evil bastards all day, barking for no reason and fighting over toys. My stupid cat, Smokey, pooped on the bed again. I threw out the litter he doesn't like and gave him the kind he does like and still he shits on the bed? Give me a break!

I had to go buy another stupid kitty litter box for the little cat I have kidnapped and stuck in the bathroom to take him or her to get mutilated tomorrow. The little cat isn't happy. Well tough cookies, Pal, I'm not either.

I put the cat in the bathroom that is the one that Alex uses every day to shower. I never even go in there except to clean. Fine. When I stick the cat in there, the door has something wrong and won't close. Great. So I take a piece of cloth and tie it to the doorknob and pull a chair over to hold it in place. I asked Alex "Did you know the door didn't close?" "Oh yeah", says he, from Georgia. Uh, why didn't you say something about it? How long has it been like this? "Oh about 10 years." Now do you see why I feel like smacking him? It used to close just fine. If it's not closing, let's get it fixed Alex.

I left water and 3 jingle bells on the floor for the cat so he can play with them if he gets bored. Hell, he can take a shower if he wants. I really don't care. Now, if I seem cold it's because my leg is hurting and bleeding from where that little son of bitch bit me for the second time today. I am not amused. See if I pay extra for your pain medication after they cut off your balls or your ovaries tomorrow little cat! Hah! Don't get mad, get even.

I have a dear friend who is a very conservative woman. I am a Republican, but not conservative (except when it comes to my money). I'm all for a woman's right to choose, legalizing pot, legalizing prostitution, legalizing gay marriage, public education and the strictest separation of church and state. I am not really pro higher taxes to pay for services that I have never used and never will. Still, I get tired of the President bashing.

I didn't particularly like George W, but I kept my opinion to myself. I voted for Obama, only because I wouldn't vote for Sarah Palin with McCain as old as he is and not in the best of health. Still, I avoid political rants. We all have opinions, but with politics, I'd just rather not go there!

My friend was up in arms over Obama not doing something to stop the disaster in the Gulf. I'm sorry, but what is he supposed to do? Go fix it? If we friggin' knew how to fix it, we would. We don't.

Then there was something about Indian Reservations being Sovereign Nations. Okay. And Indians don't even have to register for the Selective Service. Okay, stop right there. Large numbers of Native Americans enlist for military service and represent the highest per capita enlistment of any ethnic group in the United States. (This is not made up. It's real.)

During WWI, many Native Americans fought in the military, but were not even allowed US citizenship at that time. Irony, much?

Okay, I love my friend, but got really snotty with her over her email. I'm having a bad day. It's one of those days I should just have stayed in bed.

Or maybe I should have a gin and tonic and pick up a truck driver instead.

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