Wednesday, June 2, 2010

This Is Not Turning In To A Cat Blog

Alex is always looking toward the cutting edge; he's just that kind of guy. He found something called Nature's Miracle Cat Litter.

The miracle part I must not really understand but a slight miracle has occurred since we started using this stuff.

First of all, the litter looks kind of like sawdust. It's a weird brown color and strange texture. Also, it does very poorly as far as odor control is concerned.

Since Alex said he paid a lot for it, he insisted that Smokey, our cat, would get used to it. Uh huh.

Yesterday I went to clean the cat litter box. There was NOTHING in it. How queer, I thought. Then I remembered Alex getting up at 3 AM to fly out to Georgia. Silly me thought to myself "Self, Alex must have cleaned the kitty litter before he left for the airport! Wasn't that nice of him?"

Now today, I went in to clean the kitty litter and lo and behold. Nothing in the box but the icky sawdust. I ran to the closet to make sure Smokey was alive and his functions had not shut down. He opened an eye in greeting, but remained otherwise immobile. Smokey is a night time guy, and he almost always sleeps all day.

I was thinking about calling the vet for an emergency appointment when another thought crossed my mind. Could he be going somewhere else? I sniffed the closet where he sleeps and smelled nothing too upsetting.

Then I went to the kids play room. Right on top of the pretty little quilt on the bed is a pile of cat poop! Oh, and on the floor, there are neat little piles of cat poop surrounding the room. Dear God in heaven! Here's the miracle! For the first time in 15 years, Smoke has not used the litter box.

I guess Smoke didn't like that litter either. So he told me in the most direct way he could.

It reminds me of the time I got some weird-assed toilet paper at Walgreens. I swear it was two rolls that would each last a year. The paper itself was a very funny hard texture and it was dense. I think each roll weighed about 5 pounds. Kind of like using a butcher paper for your ablutions. I put the two rolls in the two bathrooms that Alex uses most.

Of course, I got another type of tissue for myself in my two favorite bathrooms. I did notice that the paper in Alex's bathrooms lasted for about 3 years. He never complained. Hmm.

Okay, what was I thinking! Alex would clean the kitty litter pan at 3:00 AM before he flew off to Georgia? Was I smoking crack cocaine?

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