Sunday, July 11, 2010

Thou Shall Not Covet Thy Neighbors Yard

Now my backyard is fine, don't get me wrong, but when the woman next door has this going on out back, what are you going to do?

I do have to say that she has artificial turf but frankly, it looks damned good. I was actually hoping it would not be as fab as it is.

Now to make things even worse, I have two dogs, but she has three dogs. Uh huh. Three dogs and a backyard that looks like it was professionally landscaped, (which it was by the way).

Still, I hate myself for being jealous. Jealousy is an ugly emotion. Here is a photo of the front of this house. It is picture perfect too.

And if this wasn't bad enough, my neighbor to the other side, is a house that is amazing on its own, but also has a backyard to die for. This one has a darling little play house that is very similar to the original house. Hell, the playhouse looks to be in better shape than my house!

This garden has every flower known to man, and is without weeds. Excuse me? Now how in the hell do you have no weeds? I'm frankly considering planting weeds and letting the real plants sneak in. Maybe I'd have more luck if I did it that way. Look how green that real lawn is! And a hammock! Is that sweet or what?

Here is the front of the house. Can I get a break please? Both of these houses have been freshly painted in the last couple of years. They have no weeds. Their grass is green. Oh I know they always say the grass is greener, but in this case it's totally true!

I just don't think it's fair. And yes, I'm green with envy. But I'm not envious enough to go out there and pull weeds or work on the yard. That would probably help, but I don't feel like it. Either it's too hot and I can't do it, or it's too cold and I don't want to do it.

I do have some roses that are blooming. Just don't look at the lawn. I'm not even sure it's lawn anymore anyway, it may just be short weeds.

I tried to talk Alex into letting me contact the "sex worker" dominatrix gal to see if she could help me find a guy who wants to be punished for about a week. I would be so glad to get the weeds pulled, I wouldn't even charge him for the abuse. And you thought the hooker with the heart of gold was just a myth! Hah!

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